Two Tall, Pointy, Black, Needle Like Towers
by MBDTA
Summary: The middle part of their imminent doom! Yes! Here it is the sequel to Fellowship of the Freaks! What will the group do this time? 'Cause more chaos, that's what! OC OC OC!
1. We Ran On, and On, and On

**And here follows . . .**

**"Two Tall, Pointy, Black, Needle-Like Towers . . .**

**. . . (And the Middle Part of Their Imminent Doom)"**

**So, HERE IT IS! Enjoy! Anyway, my birthday's in a few days, so I felt like being nice and sticking this up! Review!**

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We Ran On, and On, and On

* * *

Kelsey's PoV 

We ran. No surprise there. The only reason Mandy and I could run as such was because of our major workout of the past two months or so—though, sitting in boats for almost ten days hadn't helped—and the consumption of major sugar and coffee products, not excluding chocolate. But for some reason—maybe the Valar had given us up as a lost cause—this was a whole darned lot harder than those 90 miles from Rivendell to Hollin in 10 days that Nicole had led us on. Perhaps it was the lack of an unnaturally chipper person. Whatever it was, Mandy and I were having a hard time.

"What if we step in a hole and break our ankles?" I asked. "How do you find any sort of trail anyway?"

"We are only guessing, _Dulin_," Aragorn answered, "but there are clues. Perhaps someday I may teach this craft to you. Or you may learn it of the sons of Elrond—they taught me the art."

"Thanks." I padded after them.

"Ai!" I looked up at a yell and of all things stepped in a rabbit hole.

"Ow! Geez!"

Legolas ran up. "We have already overtaken some of those we are hunting!"

"Great, and I just twisted my ankle!" I yelled.

"Awww . . ." Mandy gasped for breath. "Poor . . . Kelseee!" She coughed a bit bringing Legolas to her side.

"Do not look, ladies," he told us while pointing something out to Aragorn.

"Well, that's stupid!" I told him, limping over to where Aragorn was. "It's just a couple of darn—eew."

"Yuck!" Mandy pulled her sweater over her head.

"Here is another riddle," said Gimli.

"I like riddles!" Mandy popped her head out. "What's the riddle?"

"Mandy," I laid a hand on her shoulder, "There are a group of five of our innumerable enemy utterly destroyed."

"How is that a riddle?"

"Because Gimli said it is."

"Oh."

We traveled onward until we came to a little stream. Aragorn looked about a bit and changing direction slightly, led us onward. The males of our party seemed quite happy and awake, but I was in favor of sleep—something no one but Mandy seemed to share.

"We . . . have . . . been . . . running . . . all . . . night!" I gasped as the sun rose and we came to a cliffish thing.

"Look!" cried Legolas, pointing up. "There is the eagle again!"

"Again?" Mandy asked.

"He is very high! He seemed to be flying away now, back North. Look!"

I looked up. There was only a little black speck that moved. I rubbed my eyes.

A scream, somewhat like an eagle's, erupted from the sky followed by a whoop of joy.

"I cannot see him, Legolas," Aragorn told him. "He must be high indeed—"

"But not high enough to muffle Nickel's screams," Mandy mumbled.

"—I wonder what his errand is, if, indeed, he is the same eagle that I have seen before—"

"Before?" Mandy asked.

"While on the river." I silenced her with an answer.

"Oh."

"—But look! I can see something nearer at hand and more urgent. There is something moving across the plain."

"No more need of a trail!" I yelled. "Not that we had one to begin with.

"Let's go." Mandy marched toward the edge and would have tumbled down had not Legolas redirected her to a safer path.

* * *

**Mandy's PoV**

I followed Legolas now by the clear light of day. At the bottom of the cliffy place there was what seemed to be just like my front lawn—except there was nothing but grass and the grass was overgrown.

"Who forgot to mow their lawn?" I asked, giggling in the cool air. Mornings do strange things to me. I was hyper, as can be predictably understood.

Also, as soon as we reached the bottom, it got warmer—not just warmer, but hot and humid, like the worst of summers back home.

"Let us run!" Legolas called out.

"Run?" Kelsey asked. "What have we been doing all night?"

"We have only searched out the trail and lo! now it is before us, so we must run. Run onward to catch our foes!" Aragorn answered as he dashed forward. With a soft sigh, the rest of us followed. Run onward—famous words, but painful ones.

When Aragorn found Pippin's brooch, I simply rolled my eyes at the thought of "Lorien's leaves not falling." After all, the leaves actually fall in spring there when the flowers bloomed. Legolas had said so—or at least, in the books he did.

"Well, at least . . . if we don't see them . . . for a long time . . ." I spoke tentatively, "we have reason to . . . visit?" The males glared at me. "Just idle talk. Just in case."

And then we ran some more. Yippee. At least my legs would be in shape when we got back. That would be nice. But right then, I did _not_ want to run any longer. Until a brief rest, at which point strawberries and sugar with whipped cream and angel-food cake were produced by Kelsey. And there was much rejoicing.

* * *

**Kelsey's PoV**

"Gimli, would you stop stepping on the back of my shoe?" Mandy yelped, jumping up to avoid him.

"It is not me!" Gimli shouted. Mandy frowned.

"Then who's stepping on the back of my shoe?"

"Legolas!" I called, racing past her.

"Legolas!" Mandy yelled, stopping our race across the country only—

"Ow!"

"Oof!"

"Legolas!"

"Gimli!" I stopped and groaned. Because Mandy had stopped, Legolas had fallen into her, and they had fallen on the ground. Then Gimli tripped over them.

Beside me, Aragorn stopped.

"We cannot tarry," he stated. "Come, for we must find the Hobbits."

"Yeah," I added, running a hand through my wind-swept hair. Mandy rolled her eyes as Legolas pulled Gimli off of her and pulled her up.

"Are you alright, Lady Amanda?" he asked as she brushed some dirt off of herself.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Mandy pulled her hair back with a tie she had wrapped around her wrist and reached into my bag, pulling out her hair clip. She presumed to clip her hair back, making a small ponytail. "Now, I'm great!"

"Then let us continue." Aragorn began to run again.

"On the road again!" Mandy sang. "I can't wait to get on the road again!"

* * *

"Mandy . . . I can't . . . take this!" I wheezed. Mandy gasped for air as well before stopping, bending down with her hands on her knees.

"Lady Amanda, you cannot be tired already," Legolas called, sprinting past us.

"Yes . . . I . . . can . . ." she panted. "Whoo!" She slowly slowed her breathing. "Hey . . . do you think . . . we could . . . call horses like . . . like Gandalf . . . eventually does?" I shrugged.

"Dunno. But I'd love to . . . have horses," I admitted. Mandy straightened and breathed deeply. By now, even Gimli had passed us.

"I'm going to try it," she declared. Mandy took another deep breath and whistled long and loud. I covered my ears.

"Ow!" Tears filled my eyes. Up ahead, Legolas and Aragorn began shouting what sounded like obscenities. "No cussing!" Mandy stopped her whistling, out of breath.

"Do you think . . . it worked?" she asked hopefully.

"Probably not," I sighed. "We'd better catch up with the—" Suddenly, a piercing whinny shook the air.

"Horses!" Mandy shouted as five horses raced up to us. There were two chestnuts, one pure white one (Shadowfax, I think), a dappled gray and a jet black one with a white streak on its forehead. "I call the gray one!"

"I want the black one!" I squealed, reaching out and rubbing its muzzle. "Ooh . . . it's so soft!" We spent a moment inspecting the horses we had chosen before Mandy turned to Shadowfax.

"Thanks! By the way, hang around Fangorn for awhile. Your buddy Gandalf is gonna need you." Shadowfax nodded and whinnied before galloping off. Then Mandy slapped her forehead.

"What?"

"I was talking to a horse!" she screamed. I nodded slowly.

"Okay . . ."

"Now everyone's going to think I'm insane!" she moaned.

"Mandy, you _are_ insane." Mandy frowned, then nodded.

"Oh, yeah . . ." She looked at her horse. "So, how do you propose we get on these things?" Her horse snorted in her face. "Eww! I mean, nice horsie."

I giggled, while looking around. "There's a rock over there. We could climb that then climb on the horses," I suggested. Mandy shrugged.

"Works for me." With magnificent luck, all four horses followed us to the rock as Mandy and I raced each other there. Then we mounted the horses.

"Ready to catch up to the guys?" I asked, clutching my horse's mane.

"So, I'm going to call you Streaker. Oh, wait . . . that sounds wrong. Okay, how about Patch? No. That's a little kiddy—"

"Mandy."

"What?"

"You're talking to a horse again." Mandy stared at me, biting her bottom lip.

"No I wasn't," she protested. I rolled my eyes and gestured for the other horses to follow.

"Okay . . . um . . . march!" I ordered. My horse didn't move. "Mush?" Nothing. "Ru! Hiya! Kee-chow! Hup-hi-ya, hup-hi-ya!" I wasn't going anywhere. Mandy smirked.

"It's yippie-i-a," she corrected.

"Yippie-i-a!" I ordered. Nothing. Then the light bulb flashed on. "Oh . . . how about . . . _noro lim_?" I said timidly. Immediately my horse, Mandy's horse and the other two horses bolted forward.

"Aah! Make it stop! Make it stop!" Mandy screamed, but I couldn't' see her. What I did see was three distant figures coming toward us . . . fast.

"We're going to crash!" I screamed. That made Aragorn and Legolas turn around at least. They leapt out of the way. I saw Legolas open his mouth and shout something. I couldn't tell what, but the horses stopped. "Whoo! That was fun!" I giggled breathlessly as Aragorn walked up, patting my horse's neck.

"Kelsey. Are you alright?" he asked, concerned. I nodded, sweeping my bangs out of my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

"What did you tell the horse?" Aragorn asked.

"_Noro lim_." Immediately, the horses bolted forward. "Eeeeaaaaa!" I screamed, but the horses soon stopped and returned to Aragorn, who was speaking to them in Sindarin. The moment my horse was being patted down by Aragorn, I slid off. "Gosh, that was scary." Aragorn looked at me.

"Never use those words, unless you are in a dire situation," he told me harshly. "Especially if you don't know how to stop a horse." I nodded, my eyes cast downward in shame from the rebuke.

"I'm sorry, _Ada_."

"It's fine, just don't do it again without proper instruction first. Now, as to these horses . . ." Aragorn looked over the horses. "They are not fresh and by the time they have rested, the trail will have run cold."

"And we cannot follow a trail from horseback," Legolas added. "I only hope these horses have not disturbed it."

Mandy moaned in misery.

"The city of Edoras is southeast of here. You may ride these horses and return them to their masters, ladies," Aragorn told us.

"But we—"

"Don't want to miss hearing about the small stones that start an avalanche in the mountains," I interrupted her.

"Are you sure, Lady Amanda?" Legolas asked. "It will, no doubt, be a long way."

"I'm fit as a fiddle!" Mandy jumped up and down. "Fit as a fiddle!"

"Did she consume . . . 'coffee?' " Gimli asked, looking just a bit frightened.

"Recently, no," I answered, watching Mandy thoughtfully as she hurdled a horse. "Though I do think she has consumed something unnatural."

"You mean . . . 'coffee' . . . is . . . natural?"

"Of course, you idiot!"

* * *

**Mandy's PoV**

"Kelsey, I'm hungry!"

"We have no time to stop and cook, Lady Amanda. Have some _lembas_."

"_Lembas_!" I munched some as I ran.

"I'll fry some chicken if you want," Kelsey told me.

"Sure!"

I watched Kelsey extract some chicken from her bag in plastic bags. She brought out a frying pan, buttered it and dumped the chicken in it.

"Run, keep running!" she yelled at me as she ran along.

"How are you going to cook it?"

"Like so. Thanks to the extreme heat, it will hopefully cook fast. All I have to do is simply hold it out and keep running!"

As I ran beside Legolas a few minutes later, I heard a call from behind me.

"Gimli!"

A piece of fried chicken flew past me and hit Gimli on the head. He stopped.

"What was that for?"

"Your lunch!" Kelsey told him, running past us. "Aragorn!" Another piece of chicken flew through the air. "Mandy!"

I caught the chicken and dug in. It was, of course, delicious.

"Legolas!" He caught a piece as well and hesitantly followed my lead.

"It's good!" he exclaimed.

"What did you expect? Cow dung?" Kelsey asked eating her chicken wrapped in _lembas_. "Everything I make tastes good, if I may say so myself."

"Tag!" I yelled, poking her and running faster. Kelsey yelled and followed in hot pursuit.

"Ooh! Pretty sunset!" I skipped along, sometimes behind and sometimes in front of Aragorn. The sun was setting, but with the sea of grass before us and the cloudless starry sky, it was really romantic.

"We have come to a hard choice," Aragorn announced. "Shall we rest or shall we go on while our strength holds?"

"Are you insane?" Kelsey gasped.

"What drugs are you on?" I asked. "Even major sugar products can't keep me up more than 28 hours, and we've been running!"

"We can't follow the trail properly in the dark anyway," Kelsey added. "And if we sleep, then Mandy and I won't slow you down." And thus it was decided—sleep!

* * *

Okay, okay...I was an idiot and accidentally deleted this! I was trying to be nice and put this up on 6/25/06 and then realized I'd messed up and tried to redo it and ended up being stupid and not thinking and deleting it! So, we had all these cool little authors' notes, but now we don't! I'm so mad at myself for being such an idiot! Ack! --The Editor 


	2. A Democracy Deficient Country

Aah! It's been sooo long! What was it, 7/29 when we last updated? We really do apologize for the long wait. It was making me antsy, too! A little note of clarification: when the print goes into italics, that indicates a thought. Plus, the lines separating parts are for some strange reason not working, so I bolded (as always) the PoVs and put extra spaces before the beginning and after the end! Please review! We really need the motivation! --The Editor

**Disclaimer:** The places and characters mentioned in this fanfiction are the property of the estate of J.R.R. Tolkien. We own nothing, except for Mandy, Kelsey and Nicole.

**A Democracy Deficient Country**

**Kelsey's PoV**

"Wha' yo' wan'?" I rolled over as someone shook me. "Thirty more minutes, Daddy."

"Kelsey, we must move. The Orcs have not rested this night," Aragorn whispered.

"Okay, Daddy." I snuggled into my blanket. "Goodnight."

"Just leave them, Aragorn," Gimli suggested. "They slow us down."

"Goooooooood Mooorrrrning!" Mandy yelled in my ear. "Up gets KelKel! Up, up, up!"

"And they would betray all secrecy," Gimli added.

"We cannot leave the ladies," Legolas explained. "They are under our protection."

"I'm up!" I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. "Pop Tarts anyone?" I opened a package of Pop Tarts and munched sleepily. "Toast?"

"We must move!" Legolas told me with no small hint of vehemence.

"Okay, okay. Geez, Mr. Grumpy-Gills." I tossed Mandy a Pop Tart. "Eat. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn grudgingly ate their Pop Tarts (A/N: Funny sight, eh? Seeing these three titans eating Pop Tarts in the company of two idiot girls?). And then we ran. It was actually kind of fun once you got used to it. Yesterday had been horrible; today was better. Sleep and getting used to this sort of exercise helped. Mandy and I bounded from side to side of the bent, grassy "trail," skipping over discarded items and rolling downhill when there were, in fact, hills.

"This is so much fun!" Mandy yelled, trampling the grass underfoot. Then she stopped. "Hey, I wonder if you can eat this stuff." She reached for some grass—

"Mandy!" I yelled, sending some birds flying. "Use your brain. Is grass edible?"

"Well . . ."

"By people?"

"No."

"Then don't eat it!"

"Okay!" She skipped on.

**Mandy's PoV**

"Run, run, run as fast as you can! You can't catch me, I'm the Elf wo-man!" I chanted. "Gosh, I wish I did this more often!"

"Someday, when there is peace, we will run cross-country," Kelsey called. "Every year in spring for the fun of it."

"Yeah! Annual Rohan Runs!"

"Mandy, we could have T-shirts!"

"Water bottles!"

"Prizes!"

"Yeah!"

"The Fun Run of Middle-earth!"

"Since when has running been fun?" I queried.

"I have absolutely no idea."

The ground got harder and the grass shorter. Everything at that point was shorter/slower/smaller, except the temperature, which seemed to have risen several degrees.

"Why is it so darn hot?" I asked Aragorn, since he seemed to know something about this place.

He didn't know what "darn" meant but seemed to get the gist of what I was asking. "Rohan is prone to abrupt seasonal changes. It could be freezing and sunny with the grass dying one minute and by the next, storms pile up and then waves of heat envelop the land."

"So it's sort of like West Texas.?"

"Where is West Texas?"

"Uh . . ." I was at a loss. Where was West Texas . . . In fact, where was the United States from here?

"It is a place in a book," Kelsey filled in.

"Oh."

"But—"

"Shh, Mandy."

And we ran on. After awhile, I began to notice how quite it was. There weren't even any insects buzzing around our sweaty bodies—prime bug food, we were, mind you.

"Ya know," I told Kelsey, "we're the only ones making any noise. There isn't even a wind in the grass."

"Weird."

"I know. It's so quiet."

"No, Mandy, I meant you talking poetically."

**Kelsey's PoV**

We halted at dusk.

"Now do I most grudge a time of rest. The orcs have run before us, as if the very whips of Sauron were behind them," Legolas whispered. "I fear they have already reached the forest and the dark hills and even now are passing into the shadows of the trees."

Gimli sighed. "This is a bitter end to our hope and all our toil."

"To hope, maybe, but not to toil."

"There's always hope, _Ada_," I soothed. Aragorn smiled.

"Yet I am weary. Weary as I have seldom been before; weary as no Ranger should with a clear trail to follow. There is something strange at work here. Some evil that gives speed to these creatures and sets its will against us."

"That's why it seems like we've been going in circles!" Mandy exclaimed.

"Truly, there is some barrier," Legolas agreed. "But it is before us and not behind." He pointed west.

"I knew it!" Mandy proclaimed. "The Valar hate us!"

"Saruman!" Aragorn hissed.

"Nap time!"

"I spy . . . something green," Mandy giggled the next morning as we ran.

"Grass!"

"No! Leggy's brooch."

"Oh, fine. Go again."

"I spy something pointy-eared."

"Me?"

"No. Leggy!"

"Fine!"

"I spy someone blonde."

"Legolas?"

"Leggy! That's right!"

"Amazing. I never would have guessed."

"But you just—"

"I spy something brown!" I interrupted.

"Uh . . ."

"The horse pooey you're about to step in!"

Mandy didn't look down in time and, unfortunately, suffered the consequences. "Eew . . ."

"Let's play the ABC Game!" I decided. "I'll start! Aragorn lives anywhere and likes . . . action!"

"Boromir lives in a boat and likes battles!" Mandy continued, impressed by her own so-called "wit."

"Celeborn lives in Caras Galadhon and likes Cate Blanchette!"

"Denethor lives by Doom and likes to dress-up!"

"Eomer lives at Edoras and likes eoreds."

"Fangorn lives in a forest—"

"He is a forest!" I corrected.

"—and he likes forests."

"Gimli lives in the Glittering Caves and likes gems." I continued on to "," not giving Mandy a chance. "Haldir lives in a _hethlain_ hut and likes happy, happy me!"

"Weird."

"Keep going."

"Uh . . . Illuvatar lives . . ."

"On ice?" I suggested.

"On ice and likes . . . infinite things."

"Works well enough. Are there any 'Js'?"

"I don't think so."

"Then I can do anyone. Julie lives in Japan and likes jokes."

"Koli lives in Khazad-dum and likes kangaroos."

"Do not dishonor the dead," Gimli seethed.

Mandy stole 'l.' "Legolas," he looked up on hearing his name, "lives in—"

"Lasgalen, Eryn," I prompted.

"and likes . . ." She was obviously trying to find a way to say herself so I helped once again.

"Lady—"

"What lady?"

"You."

"Lady You?"

"No, Lady Amanda! You, you idiot!"

"Oh."

By this time, night had fallen.

**Mandy's PoV**

I woke up to a noise like thunder. Sitting up, I saw a large group of moving horses all around us. Spears were lowered like a thicket so that none of us could move.

"Well, this is a bit annoying," Kelsey grumbled. "We slept late _again_!"

One guy rode forward, taller than the others on one of the horses, the black one, in fact, that we had ridden two or three days ago.

"Who are you and what are you doing in this land?" he demanded.

I stood up. "Well," the spears came closer. "What's your _issue_?"

"Are we to believe that—whoever you are—you bring women along in your travels, knowing the danger of being caught in a land that no traveler is permitted to enter without my lord's leave?"

"I am called Strider," Aragorn answered before Mandy could remark. "I come out of the North. We are hunting a party of Uruk-hai westward across the plane."

"Then you know little of orcs if you hunt them in this fashion. They were many and well-armed. You would have changed from hunters to prey—"

"You haven't seen Kelsey fight," I muttered.

"Are you elvish folk?" Eomer asked (we could only assume him to be Eomer; who else would he be?).

"Nay," Kelsey answered, "not all of us. Strider and Gimli the dwarf are mortal, but we have all passed through Lothlorien and the gifts and favor of the Lady go . . . well, with them. She didn't like Mandy much. She liked me well enough, though."

"Shut up, Kelsey!" Mandy growled, jabbing me in the ribs.

"OW!"

"Then there is a Lady. Well, if you have her favor you must be like her—sorcerers and net weavers."

"Kelsey is. She can do Galadriel Eyes."

Gimli straightened. "You speak evil of that which is fair beyond the reach of your though—"

"Gimli!" Kelsey reprimanded. "Don't act like a dumb blonde!" The spears thickened. "Hey! I'm blonde, too! I meant the stereotypical blondes! . . . Could you move the spears, buddy?"

A gesture from Eomer sent the spears into their locked and upright position.

"Okay," I began, "here's the thing—"

"Mandy, let Aragorn tell it!" Kelsey commanded. "Hey knows why the heck we're here anyway."

"But—"

"Shh." And thus she demonstrated Galadriel Eyes.

"_I see what the tall blonde . . . Elf . . . meant by my not seeing the short one fight. She could kill many with a look like that,"_ Eomer thought.

"Aragorn began his spiel. "First, tell me whom you serve. Are you a friend or foe of the dark lord?"

"I serve only the Lord of the Mark. We only desire to be free and live as we have. But who do you serve? At whose command do you hunt Orcs?"

"I serve no man," Aragorn answered, "but the servants of Sauron I pursue wherever they may go. There are few who know more of orcs than I, and I do not hunt them this way out of choice. The Orcs we pursue have captured two of our friends. In such a need, one will not count heads save with a sword. I am not weaponless!"

With that declaration, Aragorn drew his sword.

"Shiny!" I cried. "Sword-that-was-broken!"

"I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn, the heir of Isildur Elendil's son of Gondor. Will you aid me? Choose swiftly."

"Votes!" I called. "Let me see your votes. Favor . . . one, two . . ." The Riders timidly raised their hands, but it was obvious they had no clear notion of what I was asking.

"These are indeed strange days!" said Eomer. "Women who fight and create new terms. Legends sprung from grass!"

"Mandy!" Kelsey called as Eomer and Aragorn talked specifics. "They don't vote!"

"Why not?"

"Ask Theoden sometime."

"—We counted all the slain and despoiled them, as is our custom," Eomer explained to Aragorn.

"Well, at least they can count," I murmured. "Hey! Do you think they can do Algebra? I still need to do my homework for Algebra II."

The Riders drew off, and we turned to Aragorn and Eomer.

"All that you say is strange, Aragorn," Eomer said, "yet you speak the truth, that is plain. Men of the Mark do not lie and are not easily deceived." Kelsey coughed loudly. "But you have not told all."

Aragorn explained a bit of our journey. "Gandalf the Grey was our leader."

"Gandalf! He is known in the Mark, but his name is no longer a password to the King's favor. Few like him."

"Yet Nickel is still obsessed over that stick," I told him." Another of our companions holds him dear as a teacher and well, when he fell, she decided to stay in Lothlorien."

"I had not known about Nicole," Aragorn whispered. "Gandalf fell into darkness and comes not again."

"_Ada_," Kelsey stated, reaching up to his shoulder." I have the perfect birthday present for you."

Aragorn put his hand over hers. "We have traveled from the shadow of Tol Brandir, which we climbed and this is the fourth day of our journey."

"On foot?" Eomer asked incredulously.

"Yup," I told him proudly. "Major coffee products helped with that."

He looked confused and surprised at the same time—an interesting look, that. "Strider is too poor a name. Wingfoot I name you. Forty leagues and five you have measured ere the fourth day is ended."

"What about the rest of us? Don't we get cool names, too?" I whined.

"Oh, shut your face," Kelsey ordered. "Don't look so surprised, Eomer. You haven't tasted the most wonderful effects of coffee. Well, the caffeine seems to work on everyone but me."

"And women, too! Traveling so far. It is a wonder!"

"Well . . . steroids, man . . . from the coffee," I clarified. "Would you like some coffee? We were thinking of starting an annual marathon—Hey! Pay attention!"

The males and Kelsey looked at me a moment, then continued their conversation without me.

"Fine, then!"

**Kelsey's PoV**

"It is hard to be sure of anything among so many marvels," Eomer spoke. "Elves and a Dwarf walk in company on our fields, the Sword returns—"

"Yeah, since when has that Sword had a life of its own to come and go?" Mandy asked.

"—Fold speak with the Lady of the Wood and yet live—"

"That wasn't difficult," I told him. "Especially if you're her little protégé like me!"

"—How shall one judge in such times?"

"Uh . . . by a jury?" Mandy suggested. I whacked her on the shoulder.

"—I will lend you horses. Only when your quest is achieved, or proved futile, return them to Edoras and prove I have not judged ill. Do not fail."

"We will not," Aragorn replied.

"There are only three horses rider less," Eomer told us, "but the women are small and may ride with us to Meduseld and there shall be safe."

"We'll just double up. Gimli can't ride anyway," I jut in forcefully. No way we were going to Edoras and miss out on the fun!

"These horses escaped awhile back and have only recently been found—as we set out, in fact. Be wary!" Eomer warned/

When the horses were brought to us, they turned out to be three of the ones we'd had before. Coolio.

"Farewell!" Eomer called as we mounted and they rode away.

Mandy sat behind me, fiddling with my bag as we rode. After a time, I saw a long string with a hook attached flying toward the horse in front of us—Legolas and Gimli's horse.

"Fishing for Elves, Mandy?" I asked and, grabbing some scissors, snipped the string.

Mandy didn't answer. Instead, after some muttering, another string flew forward. I cute that one, too. And the next. And the next. And so on and so forth.

"Stupid fishin' line!" Mandy yelled. "Keeps breaking! Aarggg!"

"Breathe deeply, Mandy," I advised, suppressing my laughter as we rode up to the forest's eaves.

I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry it took so long! Our lives have been caught in a whirwind, and I barely had time to type this up. It was very long, so I hope y'all enjoyed it! Please do review and don't give up hope on us! I'll try to have the next one sooner, but I can't guarantee anything! --The Editor


	3. The OrcLike Become Orcs!

**OMG we're back! Hopefully, we'll be updating more often. We've just had some...issues...with updating. But with luck, you'll get more chapters sooner than we have been posting! Loyal reviewers, who stuck with us even when it took us forever to update, I grovel and beg your forgiveness for us not talking to you. Anyway...**

**Gina--...hush. I'm working on being better...**

**Iceprincess141414--Wow...funniest story ever... :bows humbly: Thank you!**

**JustMe--:looks at you in horror: I would never abandon a story! That's like abandoning a kitten! Or a puppy! Or...it's bad. Trust me, we're working hard to get these up!**_ The thing is, school has decided to exist again . . . funny thing, that. You'ld figure it'd be smart and not bother (personaly, I dont think we're learning much anymore)_

**Disclaimer--do you really think anything's changed. :blows nose: I still don't own it. Are you happy now? I own nothing. :sniff:**

**Kelsey--Actually, we do own Kelsey and Mandy and Nicole.**

**Mandy--True...but Nickel's disappeared in these chapters. Mwahaha!**

**Nickel--. . . I resent that . . . Anywho, all hail the mighty Tolkien, for even in death he owns all the Trilogy.**

**Mandy--:sniff:**

**And now, the wonderfully elaborate, though kind of short, continuation of the second part of our trilogy!**

* * *

**The Orc-like Become Orcs!**

(No, our heroines do not become orcs! Get your mind out of the gutter!)

**Kelsey's PoV**

Our horses trotted around the pile of pile of dead orcs.

"Ew…" Mandy pinched her nose. "They smell _really_ gross!"

"No dur." I dismounted. "Hey! Check it out! There are some tracks here!"

"Well what did you expect?" Mandy retorted, remaining on our horse until she saw Legolas nearly collapse in grief. "Oh Leggy! It's okay!" I rolled my eyes and started looking around.

"One hobbit lay here, another there. They crawled. Their bonds were cut." I scowled to add dramatic effect. "They were follow-"

"AARRGGH!" Aragorn shouted, kicking an orc helmet. Then he started hopping up and down on one foot.

"ADA!" I yelped, rushing to his side. "Oh! I knew this would happen! You broke your toe! Sit down, now!" (_When Aragorn kiched the helmet in the movie, he did acctully break his toe. No surprise)_

"But-"

"NOW!" I ordered. Aragorn sat down and I pulled several pillows, placing them all around him.

"Kelsey?" Mandy asked slowly. "Tell me that doesn't look like Jacob." I looked around at the dead orcs, particularly at where Mandy was pointing. She just happened to be concerned with the head of the orc that was stuck on a spear.

"Too bad," I commented, wrinkling up my nose. "'Cause it does."

"Yeah…and that looks like Michael! And Roger! And…" Mandy gasped. "Don't tell me those two are Tyler and Jeffery!" I screamed.

"YES! They got what they deserved for trying to hook up with my cousin!" I cheered. Now Mandy got to roll her eyes.

"Whatever. Why do you think they were here?" I paused.

"They got what they deserved," I replied solemnly. Mandy frowned, rubbing her forehead.

"Whatever." Mandy walked over to the edge of Fangorn forest. "So…what do we do now?"

"Camp," Aragorn answered, getting up from his pile of pillows to examine the hobbit's tracks. "It is getting dark, and we cannot venture into Fangorn at night. It is too dangerous."

"Ditto," I agreed, dragging the few bags we had over to the spot where Mandy stood. Legolas and Aragorn dragged the horses over and Gimli started a small fire.

"Ooo…what's for dinner?" Mandy asked, grabbing a sleeping mat from my bag and stretching out on it.

"Lembas."

"LEMBAS!" she groaned. "We've had that, like, every day!"

"Well, do _you_ want to cook something?" I snapped, my temper getting the better of me (can you blame me? We'd been running for four days straight after all!). Mandy scowled.

"No! You know I can't cook!" she replied, rolling over on her side.

"Then have some lembas." Mandy reluctantly took the piece I threw at her and nibbled on it, muttering and staring at the floor.

* * *

**Mandy's PoV**

Lembas again. Man, that stuff was good…originally. Now it tasted like…no, okay, it was still good. But old.

I think I started to doze off, 'cause the next thing I knew everyone was snickering softly.

"Whaz wrong?" I yawned, sitting up.

"Milady, do you realize you snore?" Gimli burst out laughing. I shifted uncomfortably. There was a giant rock underneath my sleeping mat.

"Yeah…" The rock was getting annoying. Maybe if I pushed it a little it would move...

"Well, Mandy, you snore loud," Kelsey commented as I kicked the rock with my foot. No such luck. I shrugged, still pretty sleepy, and stumbled to my feet.

"Where's the bathroom?" I slurred, trying to keep my balance.

"In the bushes," Kelsey snickered before I tripped over the rock and fell on top of Legolas and Gimli.

"Mandy!" Kelsey leapt up and pushed me off them. "Bad Mandy! _Bad_!"

"What!"

"You don't fall over and land on guys, much less your crush!" Kelsey pushed me on my sleeping mat and then sat down by Aragorn. I rolled my eyes sleepily and sat up. Legolas scooted over to sit by me. I smiled at him and leaned against him, staring at the fire. _Ooo_…pretty…

"Mandy!" Kelsey hissed, jerking my senses awake. I looked over at her. Her eyes were wide with shock as she pointed into the forest. "Who's that?"

* * *

**Bwahaha! It's not long, but I left you with a cliffhanger! I feel so evil! Who will it be? Review and see!**

**OMG...I made a rhyme...WOW! Coolio! R&R pwetty pweeeease!**

_Haha! Sorry guys! As Mandy said, we've been having lots of trouble updating...I had the manuscript, but I had absolutely no time to type anything up, so I gave it to Mandy at a football game! (The only time I ever see her.)_**(Mandy-- :tears up: so sad...)**_ So, we will hopefully be updating more often as she has more time than I do to type! --The Editor_

**_NicKel has returned! Mwahaahaha! Unfourtunatly she is unnaturaly lazy and so hasn't been doing much - thats not true, I've acctualy been doing dance three nights a week instead of one. Ouch. R&R please!_**


	4. An Evil Entrance

**Hola peoples! I hate 9-week exams...which is my excuse this time! Amazingly, I had time to type this up Friday night. While I was having a really bad day...hmm...whatever! Reviewers...**

**iceprincess141414**-yeah...school's a problem. I propose that we start a petition to end school... ; )

**Gina**-Jacob was a friend in journalism. sigh I miss him...but oh well! (btw, gina and nickel, this chapter i'd rather not tell my bf about, if you know what i mean).

**BlackRosePoison-Orchid**-Oh trust me. Nickel's coming back. : O She's also working on ch. 3...it's just taking a while.

**JustMe**-Oo...can I go into the padded room!

**Disclaimer**-Sorry, we still don't own it.

* * *

**Evil Entrance Number . . . !**

**Mandy's PoV**

"Mandy! Who's that?" Kelsey whispered loudly. I followed where her finger was pointing and saw a figure bent over and wearing a hood.

"What? You think I'd actually know someone who looks homeless?" By now, Legolas and Aragorn were awake and watching the figure with interest.

"Well, father, what can we do for you?" Aragorn finally said. "Come and be warm if you are—"

"OW!" The figure shouted and stumbled into view. "Stupid branch! Almost poked my eye out!" I tilted my head.

"Do I know you?" I asked, staring at it. The figure froze, just watching us for a moment.

"What the heck!" it muttered. Kelsey frowned.

"Um…hello?" she asked. "Who are you?"

"Um…I am the Ernie-friend, dark lord of the universe!" it yelped. I rolled my eyes, frowning slightly.

"Um…Ernie…why does that name ring a—" I paused as I watched Aragorn finger Andruil and Legolas pull out an arrow. "Wait! Don't shoot!" I turned back to the figure, who was cloaked in a rain poncho. "Ernie? Like, Ernie Artiz?"

"Who wants to know?" Kelsey rolled her eyes.

"Oh yeah. That's Ernie," she remarked. The person turned to her.

"How can you tell?" I frowned.

"'Cause of the smart-aleck come-backs," she retorted.

"Kelsey?" he asked slowly. There was another pause as he looked around. "Amanda? Is that you?" I nodded.

"Yep!" There was another, _long_ pause.

"What the heck are you guys doing at a campsite in Alabama? And…Kelsey, is that a dress?" Kelsey and I shared a glance.

"Um…this isn't Alabama, Ernie." Kelsey said slowly. Ernie pulled back his poncho hood and stared at her.

"It isn't?" She shook her head. "Man…I knew my dad took a wrong turn on I-45…"

"No, that's not it…" I stood up and walked around the fire to give Ernie a hug.

"Don't worry, Legolas," I heard Kelsey soothe Legolas behind me. "Mandy gives everybody hugs." I pulled away from Ernie, slightly embarrassed, and stepped back.

"You're in Fangorn, Ernie," I told him. He cocked his head.

"What?"

"You know, Fangorn." He shook his head. "Middle Earth?" Another shake of his head. "Lord of the Rings?" I swear, you could see the light go on in his eyes.

"WHAT!" he shouted. I winced.

"Not so loud please," I begged before Kelsey pulled me back down onto my mat. Ernie moaned and sat down right where he was. "How'd you end up here?"

"I don't know." Ernie took off his poncho and a big, bulky backpack with camping gear I hadn't noticed before. "My dad and I were camping, it was raining, and I was trying to find the car to get our burgers and…I guess I took a wrong turn." That's when Ernie noticed the boys. "Who're those bozos?"

"Bozos?"

"Burgers?"

"Car?"

"Stuff from our world," Kelsey explained. Ernie frowned.

"Our world?" Ernie asked.

"Ernie, say hi to Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli," I said exasperatedly. "Boys, say hi to Ernie."

"Yeah hi," Ernie said shortly. "Now how am I supposed to get back…WOAH!" I think the truth was starting to sink in. "Wait, I'm in…woah! No, wait, that's not physically…woah!"

"Are you finished?" Kelsey asked wearily, yawning. Ernie nodded, leaning back and frowning. "Okay, listen. We don't know how to get you back home. But as long as you're here, do you want to travel with us?" Ernie nodded.

"Sure…sure…but…woah." Suddenly, the horses whinnied loudly and ran off. We all looked after the horses, then at each other.

"Well…this stinks," I commented.

"The horses!" Legolas cried, leaping to his feet. I grabbed his hand and pulled him back down.

"Don't worry. They wouldn't like Fangorn anyway," I told him, then jumped and glanced at my watch. "Holy crud! It's 10:30!"

"How do you know that even works anymore?" Kelsey asked.

"I don't. I'm just guessing." I leaned back against Legolas, ignoring Kelsey's glares, Ernie's puzzled glances, and the fact that his head rested lightly against my own—until Kelsey pushed me down onto my pillow…pretty pillow…

* * *

**Kelsey's PoV**

Stupid Mandy…stupid Legolas. They didn't seem to get the fact that we were on a quest to…well, at the moment it was to find Merry and Pippin, not to start a relationship here. I grabbed Legolas by his ear and dragged him away from the fire.

"OW!" he shouted. I hit him.

"Shut up, unless you want to wake Mandy up," I hissed, pushing him away from me. He quickly composed himself, glaring at me.

"Now—"

"No, you listen." I planted my hands on my hips. "Stop being so nice to Mandy. She's just a stupid, hormone-enraged, love-sick, teenage puppy!"

"You cannot tell me what or what not to do, Lady Kelsey," he contradicted.

"True. But I can do something."

"What?"

"I'm not going to tell you what. But I'm warning you of what I _can_ do." I retorted, then turned and left him standing there all alone. Ernie sat up when I came back to the fire.

"Hey…Kelsey?" he asked. I mumbled something even I couldn't understand. "Okay…anyway…" He looked at where Legolas still stood, pondering what I had said, then whispered, "What happened to Amanda's last boyfriend?" I shrugged.

"Who knows."

* * *

The next day was boring. Ernie pestered us with questions about everything under the sun as we journeyed through Fangorn. 

"Ernie, shut up!" Mandy shouted, dragging a long sword out of my bag (barely lifting it out of my bag, I might add) and flung it at Ernie. "Play with the sword Ernie, and SHUT UP, okay!"

"Okay!" Ernie said, taking the sword and swinging it around. "Whoo! This is awesome!" For the rest of our investigation of Fangorn, anything within five or so feet of Ernie was dead meat.

"Ernie, could you stop it?" I asked. "The trees are getting scared of you." It was true. The trees were all parting to make way for Ernie so he wouldn't hit them.

"Oh, okay." He grabbed a sheath out of my bag and placed his sword in it, tying it around it belt as Gimli tasted a leaf and spit it out.

"Orc blood," he coughed.

"Well, what did you expect, pumpkin juice?" Mandy asked sarcastically, quoting Harry Potter with a smirk. Gimli glared at her.

"What is pumpkin juice?"

"Um…"

"These trees are old, very old," Legolas murmured.

"No dur," I said sarcastically. Legolas glared at me. "What?"

"Shh," he hushed me. "The trees are speaking to each other."

"Gimli, lower your ax!" Aragorn hissed.

"OW! It's not Gimli! Ow! It's Ernie!" Mandy squeaked. We looked over at her. Ernie had taken out his sword again and Mandy was dodging his wild moves.

"Ernie! Sword down! NOW!" Ernie dropped the sword.

"Oops, sorry!" he muttered.

"It's okay." Mandy rubbed her right forearm, where a long gash was embedded. "Um…anybody got anything to clean this with?" I pulled out a bottle of achohol and began to throw it at Mandy. On a second thought, I put it back and threw a clean rag at her. "Thanks."

"No problem." I glanced over at Aragorn and Legolas, who were talking in hushed voices. Then Aragorn turned around.

"Quiet!" he hissed. "He approaches. We must be quick."

"He who?" Ernie asked, puzzled.

"He!"

"Voldemort?"

"No, the White Wizard!"

"Oh…" Ernie frowned. "Can I have my sword back?"

"Sure." He picked it back up.

"Oh crap." Mandy scrambled up a tree. I rolled my eyes and tried to pick out a favorite weapon.

Suddenly, a bright light flashed behind us. Oo…scary…Aragorn drew his sword and dropped it.

"Butterfingers!" Mandy yelled. "Legolas shot an arrow that broke. Ernie tried to balance his sword one hand and succeeded.

"Hey! Check it out!" he laughed maniacally. Gimli threw his ax and missed his target by 10 feet. Finally, I pulled out some cayenne pepper and sprayed it.

"Oh! OW! My eyes! OW!" The light vanished and guess who stumbled into the opening.

"Gandalf?" Legolas murmured, awed. However, Mandy and I noticed a bit of light lingering above our wizard friend.

"Duck,Mandy advised.

"FEET!"

* * *

**OOOOO! Who is it! I know, I'm so mean. Another cliffhanger! Bwahahaha! -Mandy**

**_That's only because I demanded it! Idon't see what's wrong with it, besides the first sentence where you forgot hat, though it's supposed to be a hood. I shall go change that. That's better, Ernie doesn't wear hats. _**

Hola, my little minions! Hope you liked the chapter! I'm in an extremely good mood 'cause I ranked really well for Region choir! Yay! Anyway, hope you enjoyed it! Please R&R! --The Editor


	5. Yet Another Odd Entrance

**Hola! 'Sup guys! I couldn't wait to get up more chappies for you wonderful reviewers! Reviewers...**

**iceprincess141414-**um...I think it's a comedy, but a little bit of a romance...kind of like "Hitch"! That's a good movie...

**elven cats eyes/Gina-**it's fun being a love-sick puppy dog!

**Elflette-**yayayayayayayay! A new reviewer! I think...well, you get a cookie! I think they're fresh...hmm... Maybe I should have Koli come back...he's funny...

**Just Me-**yayayay! I didn't have money for the bill anyway! I'm freakin' broke! 'Cause I spent my money on going to high school football games...

**BlackRoseOrchid-Poison-**yes, Ernie's a real person. He's my bestest friend! OMG it was so funny last Friday or something I found him after his band had marched on the field (he goes to a different school, so I almost never see him anymore) and I screamed, "ERNIE!" and jumped him. He was scared until I gave him a hug to say I'm sorry. Yeah...

**I'm in love with this story right now! I started writing RotK last year and I'm still not done, so I'm re-reading TTT and I've missed it...I love it...**

**Disclaimer-**gosh, you guys have to rub it in, don't you! I don't own it!

* * *

**Yet Another Odd Entrance**

**Kelsey's PoV**

"Duck." Mandy advised.

"FEET!" A large figure flew out of the tree and headed for everyone's feet. Ernie and I backed away from doom, but Legolas was in the line of fire as a person we all know very well clung to his feet.

* * *

**Mandy's PoV**

"Nickel!" I squealed, sliding down the tree and tackling my friend, which proved to be quite difficult since she was on the ground.

"Ow!" Nickel rolled away from Leggy's feet and stood up triumphantly.

"HA! I have succeeded!" Nickel yelled, clutching something. "Mine!"

"Whatcha got, Nickel?" Kelsey asked, reaching for the object.

"NO! MINE! My own…my precious…" Nickel turned away and started stroking whatever it was maliciously.

Legolas padded over, "Give them back!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Yes!"

"No…agh!" Legolas yelled, "Give me my shoes!" I then noticed exactly what Nickel had…Legolas's boots.

"Nickel—" Kelsey began.

"Mine!"

"They don't even fit you!"

A pause…

"So?"

I grabbed the backpack, "I want a pair of shoes that fit Leggy, are comfortable and…don't show his feet so Nickel won't attack them," I told it, reaching in. I pulled out a pair of…bunny slippers.

"Bunny slippers?" Kelsey asked.

"Hot PINK bunny slippers with those funky googly eyes," Ernie corrected.

"Ah!" Nickel jumped back, still clutching the boots and pointing a staff with a crystal on the end that looked oddly familiar at Ernie. "Who is it? What is it?"

"Your boyfriend," Kelsey said dryly.

"Ernie?" Nickel still had the stick pointed at him. Ernie waved his sword. "Ernie!" Nickel threw her hands in the air, still clutching the boots and staff.

She ran forward as if to give him a big hug, but was stopped by the sight of the bunny slippers on Leggy's feet. She pointed the stick at them and laughed.

"Twit!" Gandalf snapped. Nickel looked at him for a moment, then jumped. She righted the stick so that it no longer pointed at Leggy.

"Sorry."

"Gandalf, Lady Nicole…" Aragorn started, still obviously in shock. "This is…" He tried to find the right word, waving his hand in the air as though to describe his joy at seeing Gandalf and his misery over seeing Nicole. "…Um…amazing!"

"Anything for your birthday Estel!" Nickel yelled, carefully giving Aragorn a hug. "I'd give you a present, but my return to our epic return is a good enough present." She grinned, then stalked over to Legolas and the rest of us, "Look what Gandalf taught me!" She held out the boots and pointed her stick at them. "_Naur naur dan i tal collo_ (fire, fire take the boots )!" The boots burst into flame.

"Wow…" Ernie whispered. "Fire."

"Where'd you get that?" I asked. "I want one!"

"It's only a hand-me-down from Gandalf," Nickel explained. "Someday he'll teach me how to make my own!"

"Coolio!" Kelsey announced.

"I know! My staff rocks!"

"I meant that it's Aragorn's birthday!" We stared at her.

"Kelsey, are you okay?"

"Yeah…what!"

* * *

**Nicole's PoV**

"Man, I missed you guys," I admitted as we made our way out of Fangorn. Ernie wasn't listening to me—he was busy swinging his sword at anything he could reach.

"Missed you too!" Mandy hugged me around my shoulders. "So…what's the deal with the staff again?"

"I told Gandalf I wanted one, so he gave me it."

"Just like that?"

"No…he needed a little persuasion…"

"But I thought only wizards could use staffs," Kelsey pointed out. I shrugged.

"Apparently not, 'cause…Ernie!"

"What?"

"Your sword's turning red!" Everyone turned around and looked at him. Sure enough, his sword was a bright, glowing red.

"WHOA!" Ernie dropped it, shaking his hand as thought it had burned him.

"Don't touch anything!" Gandalf yelled at him, bewilderment etched into every wrinkle on his face. "No weapons, no nothing!" With that, he let out a long, loud whistle.

"Ooo...can I do that too?" I whistled, but it sounded more like the wind than a shrill whistle. "...shoot..." At that moment, a pretty, white horsey galloped over to us, including three more.

"Ernie, ride with Aragorn," Gandalf ordered, swinging himself onto his horse and ignoring Legolas's astonished face. Idiot looked like a fish out of water with his mouth open like that. I giggled softly. "Twit, shut up. You're with me."

I trotted over to Gandalf's pretty white horse as Mandy snickered behind me.

"Twit?"

"Shut up," I smirked. "Ameranda." Mandy blanched and turned away to cower behind Legolas…but not before I pointed my staff at her.

"OW! Where'd that rock come from?" I hefted my staff innocently. Stupid Mandy…hehe…

We mounted our designated horses—Mandy/Kelsey (Mandy wasn't too happy), Legolas/Gimli (neither was Legolas), Ernie/Aragorn, and Gandalf/Me in front.

"Tell me of your friend…Ernie is his name, I believe," Gandalf told me.

"Well…he, like the rest of us, is an exceedingly GT child—he's 16, like me…wait, 15, he's a few months younger. We all went to school together two years or so together, but he goes to a different high school than Mandy and I while Kelsey goes to still a different school. Kelsey keeps in touch with us, but we haven't seen Ernie in a while." Here, I glanced over at him. I had missed him, truth be told, but had he missed me?

"Go on," Gandalf prompted.

"Oh yeah," I said quickly. "Um…Ernie is, if I remember correctly, obsessed with guns—stuff that's kind of like bows and arrows—swords and fire…general war stuff. It's a male thing; at least it is from where we're from. He is also weirdly obsessed with the deadliest war in our country's history."

"Does he have any…other names?"

"Oh, like you do?" This earned me a slap on the head. "Ow…okay…um, we call him 'Ernie friend, Dark Enemy of the World'. But that's mostly just a title."

"Interesting…" Gandalf seemed a bit more thoughtful that usual—an unusual occurrence in my experience. "Has he ever shown an inclination for…how do I put this…ruling the world?"

"Well, who doesn't?"

* * *

**Wow...I wrote that all in one sitting...I feel special! OMG guess what! Homecoming is this week! And I got this gorgeous dress and I can't wait to wear it on Saturday! Eep! My boyfriend asked if I wanted a mum, but according to my teacher mums are only to be worn on Friday, not the dance on Saturday. Which is the next time I'll see him. Wow...this stinks...does anyone else think that mums are kind of stupid? ; )**

**It's raining in Houston! YAY! Except that I walk to school...crap...oh well! It's fun to walk in the rain. As long as it doesn't rain during the bonfire...btw, how do you burn a symbolic model of the team you're playing if the team is a form of weather (ex. tornadoes)? R&R wonderful people!**

Haha! The plot is starting to be revealed! I'm so glad y'all are enjoying this! OMG! It's been raining really hard down here, and I went to school this morning (no duh!). There was no power. No lights, no a/c, no nothing. Since it was raining, it has a propensity to be cold, so I thought maybe I should wear a nice warm sweater (we have had rather cold weather lately). Then I thought, "Well, it also has a propenstity to lose power." Then I thought, "Naw, I'll just wear my sweater." BIG mistake. So, they had us all go to the commons (al 3000 of us) and wait there till the power came on. We waited for over an hour and a half. It was sooo awful and they wouldn't let us go home 'cause it would have been an unexcused absence. Retarded. Oh! And by the way, my street's flooded. Oh! One more thing: to end on a sad note, this mother and her 16-year-old daughter were in their SUV and heading into a flooded intersection and the water filled up their car and they drowned. So sad! ANYWAY, all said and done, please review! --The Editor

**_Gosh kelsey, you scared me, at first, I thought you said it was your mother and sister! Anyway, yes, the plot has begun (can you believe it?) all fifty or so chapters before were just set up. geez this is long. Yes, Mandy, Mums are stupid. we could always make our own though . . . .hmmmm, bg flowery things . . . where do you where them anyway. Oh, and Mandy, I WANT MY GARMENT BACK!_**

**Fine...I'll give it back. : p btw, do you want to be my twin for twin day on Thursday? **


	6. Hit the Elf!

**Hey guys! Guess what? Homecoming was this week! It was great...I didn't go to the game, we lost anyway, but I went to the dance with Nickel, Gina, and my bf, Isaac. It was awesome...lol, you three are AWESOME! I love you! Anyway, reviewers...**

**Waterstar2.5--**New reviewer! YAY! Congradulations! You get a cookie! Ooo...I made some snickerdoodles yesterday...you can have one of those. : )

**Iceprincess141414--**The rain's stopped!...kind of. I think it might be back again. But at least the weather's chilly! That's rare and very welcomed down here.

**Whoever you think it is--**Wow...I'm honored. **::bows::** Though, btw, Nickel does co-write this with me. Actually, I think that most of this chapter is written by her. (The Editor: FYI, most of TTPBNLT was written by Nickel...) Anyway...YOU'RE A NEW REVIEWER TOO! Have a snickerdoodle. : )

**Okay, so homecoming's my excuse for not having a chappie up until now. But it's a good excuse, right? Seriously, it was amazing. We met up with a bunch of friends at a pizza place (which was really great--all of us in our fancy dresses when half the people there are in jeans) and ended up walking to our high school. Very funny stuff...especially when it rained earlier that day and you're walking...yeah...I'll shut up now..._ yeah, we walked about a quarter mile and gina was barefoot and there was a bunch of glass in the road, so she had to be careful. And there were these other people - closer to the school than us - in a fancy steakhouse who had hired a limo. I think we knew them . . ._I did!**

**!!!!!!!!!!Important!!!!!!!!!!**

**Here's another chappy for you wonderful people, and I'm not posting another one until I get at least 5 reviews on this chappie. So if you want another chappy, REVIEW! Ernie and Isaac, I hope you two are reading these soon. Trust me, YOU CAN REVIEW IF YOU DON'T HAVE AN ACCOUNT. Just be 'anonymous'.**

**Disclaimer--**Nope. Still don't own it. Sorry...I've let you all down...** ::sniff::**

* * *

**Hit the Elf**

**Kelsey's PoV**

"Why can't I ride with Legolas?" Mandy complained.

"Because I said so."

"That's so unfair!"

"I don't care." I gave Mandy 'Galadriel Eyes' while trying not to crash the horse. My success furthered my ego, but we'll not go into that.

* * *

**Ernie's PoV**

"Can I have your sword?" I asked.

"No, you are not of the right lineage and Gandalf said no weapons," Aragorn told me.

"Gandalf won't know."

"I heard that!" Gandalf called back.

"Don't make me sic Kirby on you!" Nicole yelled.

"Puh-shaw!"

* * *

**Mandy's PoV**

"No, you can't ride with Legolas!"

"But I wanna!"

"No."

"Please????" Look back, Kelsey. Look back and see my puppy dog eyes.

"Mandy, I'm not going to look back and see your puppy dog eyes." …Darn. "And I dare you not to speak in 1st person until we get to Helm's Deep."

"But I—"

"For each time you speak as such, I will…whack Legolas."

"No fair. You always threaten me!"

"ONE!" Kelsey counted loudly.

"Fine. Mandy will talk in 3rd person."

"Good Mandy."

"Mandy thinks Kelsey is mean."

"I love you too, Mandy."

"Gah!" Why doesn't anything phase Kelsey?!

* * *

**Legolas's PoV**

"Gimli, do you feel anything odd about Lady Amanda's friend?"

"Which one?"

"The boy."

"Other than the fact that she seems attracted to him because she hugged him?" Gimli smirked. I glared at him. "Well…he is a bit odd."

"I mean…does he seem…well…different to you? From the ladies, I mean. He seems more…well, crazy."

"Perhaps he is ill."

"Perhaps."

* * *

**Nicole's PoV**

"Is it common among your kind to argue often?" Gandalf asked as Kelsey and Mandy galloped by, the latter screaming something in 3rd person.

"Well…sort of. We just love to insult each other. There are even people who say words not even worthy of orcs made to be insults but used in a way as compliments. And of course one cannot leave out the large array of explicit hand gestures."

Gandalf was silent.

"So…how much longer will we be riding?"

* * *

**Mandy's PoV**

"I'm tired!" Ernie yelled.

"It's dark!" Kelsey called.

"Let's rest!" I yelled.

"Mandy!"

"What?"

"TWO!" Kelsey was feeling evil.

"NO! NO, NO, NO KELSEY!"

"Very well." Gandalf circled Shadowfax to a halt. "We will rest. The horses would go on, but they would not travel so fast and far."

"Check, Cap'n." Nickel slid to the ground. Kelsey marched over to Legolas.

"Kelsey, no, please, don't!"

"Mandy, shh!" Kelsey snapped. Leggy saw her coming and fled, but he hadn't traveled five feet before he tripped over Nickel's staff.

"Nickel!" I yelped at her, but she just stuck her tongue out at me. He stood quickly, but it was hopeless. Kelsey punched him once, then again in the stomach.

"Leggy, are you all right?" I squealed, running over to him. "Kelsey is so evil."

"Shh. Lady Amanda, I will be—" Leggy collapsed as Ernie kicked him in the back of the knee.

"ERNIE!"

"Kick the Elf!" He yelled as Aragorn and Gandalf restrained him. "Kick the Elf!"

"Bad Ernie!" I yelled back, helping Leggy to his feet and hugging him tightly. "Bad, bad, bad Ernie friend!"

"Ernie friend, dark enemy of the world," he corrected. I stared at him, for a moment ignoring my wheezing elf.

"Fine."

Gandalf let him go. "What did you call yourself?"

"Ernie friend, Dark Enemy—"

"Do not call yourself such! That name is of evil ones!"

"But it's my name! It's what I am!"

"Do not do so!"

"Yes, Mr. Don't."

"What? What did you call me?"

"Well, you're always saying 'don't' or 'do not'."

"Be quiet!" I yelped. "Legolas are you okay?"

* * *

We rode on as the sun rose, mounting as before since Kelsey wouldn't let me ride with Legolas. She was, of course, very grumpy due to the lack of sleep. A very grumpy Kelsey is not good—especially when Nickel is reciting a dictionary she has somehow acquired. But anyway, we rode South—at least, they said it was south—as the sun rose. Our conversation that morning was as follows (excluding Nickel's recitation). 

"How are you this morning, Kelsey and Lady Amanda?" Aragorn asked us. I rolled my eyes.

"Well," I answered.

"Sleepy, _Ada_, so don't bother me!" Kelsey grumbled.

"All right—" Aragorn began, but Kelsey scowled at him.

"You got a problem with that?" she demanded. Aragorn stared at her.

"She's PMS-ing." I explained. The poor guy still looked clueless.

"No, I'm not!" Kelsey shouted.

"Okay, nevermind, she's not."

"Was that why she punched me?" Legolas asked innocently. Poor elf…I think he's scared of her.

"No, I did it so my knuckles would hurt." Legolas seemed to accept this answer, to Kelsey's surprise.

"You wanted your knuckles to hurt?" He asked.

"Naw…really, I wanted to hurt your poor, stupid self. It's 'cause Mandy wouldn't shut up. So it's all your girlfriend's fault." I contemplated hitting her, but decided not to considering the injury that could be done to myself or my Elf.

"Kelsey—"

"What, Ernie?"

"Can we hit the Elf some more?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"That's not fair!"

"Tell me about it," I grumbled behind Kelsey. She whacked me upside the head. "OW!"

"Shut up."

* * *

**Nicole's PoV**

"Gandalf, what do you expect will be waiting for us in Edoras?"

"I fear Theoden is in the hold of Saruman's magic already. Why do you ask?"

"You may ask a question I choose not to answer."

"You have become very secretive, Twit."

"Yeah, well, it gives me something to laugh at."

"And what would that be?"

"People trying to figure my secrets out."

"A very interesting hobby."

"Actually, I embroider for a hobby."

"Really? I thought you completely favored the duties for men."

"Nah, I like pretty stuff." Gandalf rode silently for a time behind me.

"What do you expect?" He asked. I smiled.

"A whole lot of horses."

* * *

**New chappy! And I typed it all in one sitting! Again! YAY! OMG, everybody I know in person, are you going to the Brook vs. Lake game on Friday?! 'Cause I am SO going! Isaac'll be there! Hip hip hooray! So I'll be skipping in school for the rest of this week...how awesome is that?**

**Oh yeah...please review, reviewers or no new chappie, and I'll be forced to hunt down the Fellowship for the fun of it! Except Legolas. ; ) R&R!**

Hey, all! Hope you enjoyed it...I'm really not that mean, honestly! --The Editor of MBDTA

**_yeah, well I wrote it. It was the evil Nickel demons . . . I was riding with Gandalf, so I couldn't injure Mandy . . . so Kelsey got to!_**


	7. The Weapon Check

**LOL I love you guys. You're so good at reviewing! But I'm mad. Our school (mine and Nicole's) lost to Kelsey's school after 3 overtimes...and only by 4 or 5 points! What a Friday...But now it's Halloween! Yay! I'm not going trick-or-treating, but I'm watching movies with friends! YAY! Reviwers...**

**Isaac--**Haha...not funny. Okay, actually it was. : P Here's a cookie.

**Waterstar2.5--**Aw, what the heck. Have another cookie. Personally, mocha frapes make me hyper, but that's another story...

**Elondra--**YAY! New reviewer! You get a...uh oh. We're out of cookies. ::runs downstairs and comes back 30 minutes later:: Got them! Here's a snickerdoodle!

**BlackRoseOrchid-Poison--**Ahem...he's mine! Don't whacky my Elfy!

**Gina--**Actually, Nickel does that more. Remember Friday night? With me 'n' Isaac? Yeah...Nickel wasn't nice...

**Iceprincess141414--**YAY! No more rain::does a happy dance:: And it's flippin' cold outside! Houston's starting to get nicer all of a sudden...

**JustMe--**A detention? From reading our story in class? Wow...that's pretty awesome...in a weird kinda way. Here's your chappy so we don't have to go to detention! YAY! No detention for Mandy::does another happy dance:: ...sorry. (Kelsey: That ain't cool in my book!! Don't get into any more trouble 'cause of us!!...But we still want you to read...yeah...)

**Okay, I'm feeling nice, mainly 'cause now I have this large batch of cookies and I only gave three away. Everybody gets a cookie today! YAY! Happy Halloween!**

**Disclaimer--**I'm running out of good disclaimers. Sorry, still don't own it.

* * *

**The Weapon Check**

**Ernie's PoV**

"Hey, Nicole?" I called, sword in hand. Nicole turned from her spot in front of Gandalf. "Ya know, I think today's supposed to be Halloween!" She gave me a look.

"What's Halloween?" Legolas asked. Nicole scowled and flipped her hair in a Mandy-like style.

"Ernie, here, it is March 2," she began. "So that means--"

"But back where we're from it's October 31!" I argued, pulling out my cell phone. "See? It says it's October 31!" And with that, the screen went blank. I hit the phone with my hand, but nothing happened. Then I hit the side of my leg with it. Still nothing. "Drat. My phone's dead. Anybody got a charger?"

"Ernie, those don't exist here and neither does Halloween, which we celebrated months ago," Nicole pointed out. "Besides, it's not like you could dress-up as Dracula or whatever for a day here without getting shot." I could feel my eyes bug out, and I jumped up and down in the saddle, which is an amazingly hard thing to do.

"OH! Could I Nicole?!" I begged.

"What is Dracula?" Legolas asked from behind me.

"Geez, couldn't this guy keep his nose out of a conversation for a minute?"

"No," Nicole retorted. I stared.

"I said that out loud?"

"Yes."

"...Oh." I was quiet for a moment. "Can I please dress up as Dracula?"

* * *

**Mandy's PoV**

"Nicole?"

"Yes?"

"Um..." I scratched my head. "What is Ernie doing? We stopped for him to take a restroom break not that long ago and he has to go _again_?" At that moment, Ernie emerged. My jaw dropped.

"Oh Illuvatar..." Kelsey breathed behind me. "Murder me before everybody in Rohan chases us out with pitchforks." Ernie let out a laugh. He was robed in a long, black cloak with a collar that stood up to hide half his face. A pair of plastic, fake fangs were stuffed into his mouth and he had spiked his hair. His face was extremely pale, but his lips were bright red and his ears were pointed so that they were taller than his head.

Gandalf and the others looked over at Ernie and their jaws dropped at the sight of him.

"What is he doing?" My-oh-so-hawt Elf cried.

"Sir," Gandalf ordered. "Take off that this instant!" Ernie shook his head wildly.

"Mwahaha! Now I am Ernie-friend, the vampire-lord of the world!" he laughed, then held out a rather familiar looking object.

"Hey!" I shouted, pointing at the pumpkin-shaped Halloween bag. "I want one!"

"Mandy," Nicole said, barely keeping her voice steady. No need to tell you she was really annoyed, is there? "No one else is going to get anything from my bag, including a stupid pumpkin. Do I make myself clear?"

"But--"

"No buts." Ernie laughed in that kinda odd way that Dracula laughs.

"Trick-or-treat!" He held out his bag to Nicole. Who screamed. Loudly.

"I don't think that was loud enough," I sniggered.

"Yeah, people in Mordor probably couldn't hear you," Kelsey added. Nicole glared at us, but before she could retort Ernie leaped onto the horse he was sharing with Aragorn and gave a loud whoop.

"Time to go and get candy!"

* * *

**Kelsey's PoV**

"Hey look! It's—"

"A bird! A plane! A—" 

"It's Edoras," I interrupted Mandy.

"No, it's a flag. See?" Mandy pointed at a large piece of cloth rolling along the ground. "Mandy thinks it's pretty…"

"Mandy," I warned as she slid off the horse to pick up the cloth. Suddenly, Mandy jumped up and pushed Gimli off the horse he was riding with Legolas.

"HAHA!" she cried, leaping onto the horse and throwing her arms around Legolas's waist. "I'm victorious! Mandy wins again! Whoo hoo!" I rolled my eyes.

"Mandy!" I snapped, interrupting her victory dance. I grabbed her arm and forced her onto our horse. Then I punched Legolas.

"Hey, what was that for?" Mandy demanded as thought she had been the one I had hit. I punched Legolas again, but this time in the jaw.

"That was for not talking in 3rd person, as you should be doing," I reprimanded her as we rode into Edoras. "The previous one was for an extremely bad attempt to jump Legolas."

"But I wasn't trying to jump—"

"Third person!" I called triumphantly, slugging Legolas on the shoulder.

"OW!"

"LEGGY!" I punched him again. Mandy opened her mouth to protest, then shut it, thinking. "Mandy thinks that Kelsey is being mean and should stop hurting Leggy."

"I love you too Mandy," I retorted, dismounting from our horse at the gate. "Now come on. It's time to see the King."

"I—" I raised my arm threateningly. "Mandy thinks that she doesn't want to see the King. Mandy thinks the King is ugly."

"So?" Nicole cut in. "You get to kick butt in the throne room, 'cause everybody's beating everybody else up. Not that you could, though…"

"We get to kick some butt?!" Ernie shouted, raising his sword. "All right!"

"Ernie! Sword down!" Nicole ordered. Ernie started to protest. "Now! Besides, Dracula doesn't own a sword." Ernie sheathed it, grumbling. "And be quiet." Mandy rolled her eyes and stomped up the stairs, thoroughly peeved after being made fun of, and purposefully moved to stand next to Legolas. I gave him a look that I figured meant, "touch her and die". He, though, didn't seem to get the message.

Annoyed, I climbed the stairs, all the while listening to Nicole yelling at Ernie to ""take off the stupid costume" until Hama appeared before the doors.

"I cannot allow you to enter so heavily armed, Gandalf Greyhame," he stated, looking us over.

Honestly, besides Ernie, I don't see what he thought was so dangerous about an ax-wielding dwarf, sharp-shooter elf, swordsmen who could probably kill anything, a wizard who could blast you into smithereens, and three, perfectly helpless looking teenage girls. Okay…maybe I could. After all, hormones are a major, mean issue in teen girls these days.

And then, of course, there was the wizard apprentice (Nicole) busily trying to restrain some cloaked guy with plastic, too-white-to-be-real fangs (Ernie). Oh, if only I could read the thoughts that were going through Hama's head…

Gandalf gave Hama a look.

"By order of…Grima Wormtongue," Hama answered the unasked question distastefully. Realization it up everyone's faces…I tell you, it was great watching that little lightbulb just turn on above everybody's head…

"Whatever." Nicole wrestled the sword from Ernie with little success.

"NO! MY SWORD!" Ernie yelped and started to run down the stairs. But Nicole, once again, was faster and stuck out her staff, tripping him. The guards looked pointedly at Nicole as she tossed Ernie's sword over to them.

"Yeah yeah. Here you go." Nicole flung her staff at the guards, who caught it warily. "And don't break it." Next, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli all handed over their respected weapons (although, Aragorn did put up a bit of a fight . . . you can't blame the poor guy!). After reviewing them, the guards turned to Mandy.

"Don't bother," I told them. "She can't use a weapon to save her life."

"But she must have something!" The guards insisted. "Especially if she has traveled across these dangerous lands with you! How did she defend herself against creatures of Sauron?" I turned to Mandy and looked her up and down, trying to come to some answer.

"She didn't fight," I concluded. "She just hid behind Legolas at every chance she got."

"It's cause she thinks he has a nice—"

"That's enough, Nickel!" Mandy huffed at her, flushing a bright red as she reached behind her. "Here." Mandy handed the guards an object that I couldn't see. The guards looked at her in disbelief.

"A hair clip?"

"Hey, you have your choice of weapon, and I have mine," Mandy retorted, pulling another hair clip out of her bag and re-clipping her hair into a small ponytail. "Besides the…ends are sharp! They could poke your eye out! Or—"

"Mandy, quit while you're ahead," I advised, handing my sword to the guards. "You're hopeless." I then handed the guards my bow, quiver, and bag, the last _visible_ items I had on myself.

"All right. You may pass—"

"Wait!" I pulled out my can of pepper spray, two daggers out of each boot, and pulled out my belt, where I made a show of displaying the two daggers I had placed there.

"Well, now you may pass into—"

"OH!" I slapped my forehead. "I almost forgot!" I pulled out three more daggers that had been sewn into my skirt. Out of the lining of my tunic and skirt, I pulled out about ten more daggers. Hama glared at me impatiently.

"Now—"

"WAIT! I—" I pulled out my hair band, letting my hair loose and noticing, impressed, that my hair had grown at least an inch or two from it's original shoulder-length.

"I believe you should go in—"

"Wa—" Everybody groaned and Mandy clapped a hand over my mouth.

"Kelsey doesn't have anything else," she assured the guards quickly. I pulled away from Mandy's grasp.

"Actually," I began, but this time Aragorn put his hand over my mouth. Hama rolled his eyes at us.

"Please proceed," he directed. Aragorn grabbed my wrist and dragged me through the doors, but I resisted.

"I still have weapons!" I screamed. "See my nails?! They're sharp! Very sharp!"

"Kelsey, you just filed your nails last night," Mandy reminded me.

"Then how about my shoelaces? They could be used as whips!"

"Kelsey, are you seriously going to use your laces as whips?" Mandy asked.

"Um…no, but I still have—"

"Kelsey just…just stop," I advised. Ernie looked from us to the guards. Then he held out his pumpkin bag and grinned, his plastic fangs lopsided.

"Trick-or-treat!"

* * *

**Whoo hoo! Writing is so much fun! YAY! LOL y'all have a fun Halloween!!!! I'm going to be watching movies!!!! R&R please!**

Hope y'all enjoyed it! I seem like a bit of an idiot at the end...but that's what fanfics are all about, right? Anyway, R&R! --The Editor

_Hehehehe!!! I'm like, Mandy's younger sister. She asked me to review so...hehehe! hi!_

_Good STORY!!!! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!  
__And, FYI, I was the one who gave Ernie the name Ernie Friend. Mwahahahahaha!!!!_


	8. Edoras

**Hey everybody! Loving the reviews, keep 'em coming! ;) LOL do any of you listen to Weird Al? I know Gina does...hehe, I'm listening to Your Horoscope For Today..._kill them_...hehe...reviewers:**

**Gina--**HA! I watched you write this! LOL Halloween was flippin' awesome...we need to do that again...

**Elflette--**I do believe that you are a new reviewer! Here's a cookie! YAY! My daddy didn't want me to go trick-or-treating, but I was an elf last year. I bought this really crummy prom dress at a resale shop and my mom helped me add stuff. It turned out okay...but my favorite part was the ears! They were pointy!

**BlackRoseOrchid-Poison--**Ernie is strange...he's got issues...(love ya Ernie!)

**Iceprincess141414--**Oooo...cute guy? If we're almost as great as cute guys, I thank you. That means we're almost at the top of the ladder! YAY: P

**Okay...this chappy was written by Nickel 'cause the last time I tried to write this it didn't turn out as good. Hope you like it and REVIEW REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer:** I disclaim ownership. There you go. In other words: We do not own, pretend to own or want to own anything belonging in the estate of J. R. R. Tolkien. The fluff the comes from our heads is just that: fluff and a severe destruction of Tolkien's miraculous work. Just look at what Mandy has done to Legolas. (Mandy:...I resent that)

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**Edoras! **

**_(we seem to be getting in a lame title streak, cuz we mention place names a lot . . . I wonder how many chapers titled Edoras exist on this site . . .)_**

**Nickel's PoV**

"Oo...pretty," Mandy commented beside me.

"Be quite Mandy," I advised.

The hall was long and wide and filled with shadows and half lights; mighty pillars upheld its lofty roof. But here and there bright sunbeams fell in as glimmering shafts from the eastern windows, high under the deep eaves. The floor was paved with stones of many hues; branching runes and strange devices intertwined beneath our feet. The pillars were richly carved, gleaming dully with gold and half-seen colors. Tapestries covered the drafty walls, dark with age and shadows. But one was shining brilliantly, woven with metallic threads and sunlight fell upon it for so it was placed: Eorl the young. He was actually kind of cute . . .(Mandy: Is Nicole actually looking at guys?!)

Theoden sat across the hall, bent with age 'till he was as short as Gimli, his white hair looking like it needed a haircut.

"Issues," Kelsey murmured in my ear. I nodded so slightly as to barely be a nod at all. "We ought to stay out of the way," she continued, "particularly," she nodded her head slightly in Mandy's direction.

We shuffled over in Mandy's direction where she was passionately kissing Legolas, the two of them oblivious to the seriousness of the situation.

"Mandy," Kelsey hissed, "Amanda Marie!"

"Won't work," I told her. "But I know one thing that does!"

"Nickel, don't-" Kelsey began, but I cut her off.

"I won't do that..._yet_." I walked up behind Mandy, who still didn't notice. "Mandy! Lake just scored a touchdown! We're ahead!"

"Whoo hoo..." Mandy mumbled, _still_ somehow finding a way to keep kissing him. I rolled my eyes.

"Mandy, is he a good kisser?" I asked, hoping I was being somewhat annoyed. I heard a snigger somewhere in the midst of all the kissing.

"Yes," Mandy responded.

"MANDY!" I shouted, but they still didn't break apart. "Is this all you two are going to do for the rest of the day?"

"Yes."

"Oh...okay. I didn't want to do this...well, no, I've wanted to do this since you guys started."

I whacked Legolas and Amanda at the same time across the back of their heads and wrestled them away from each other. Due to the violence of the action, we were noticed behind Gandalf by Wormtongue.

"But who are these that follow at your tail? Six ragged wanderers in gray and you the most ragged of the seven!"

"I don't think he can count," Mandy observed, then looked over at me. "Hey...how did you get your staff back?" I hit her.

"So glad you cared to join us," I sarcastically replied. "Okay...one, he didn't notice Ernie, because then he would have to mention the guy wearing a creepy cloak that reminded him of how creepy Sauruman is. He probably thinks Ernie is on _his_ side. And, two, I stole it back."

"Oh." Mandy returned to staring, deeply into the depths of Legolas's eyes.

"Oh no you don't," I whispered and wrestled them apart.

Mandy under normal circumstances isn't that hard to control forcibly. When in the depths of passion, however, there is an issue. Kelsey managed to hold her back while I held Legolas back. I wasn't afraid of him injuring me, Mandy would hate him, and he knew it. So within a reasonable amount of time, we had them under control - until Gandalf called from outside.

"Twit, come here."

I glanced at Kelsey, "How long have we been wrestling Legolas?" She shrugged.

"Master Legolas." A servant came up and bowed to him. "Come and prepare yourself for war."

Confused, Legolas followed him. I trotted over to Gandalf.

"Twit, we are to go to destroy the threat of Sauruman while we have time. Where will you go?"

I didn't have to think about that one. "With you, Gandalf, we shall follow you to the end. We may not be men, but Kelsey and I can fight for good, and Mandy, though she cannot fight, will defend what . . . certain others defend until the end. And she doesn't want to miss out on the action."

"I knew as much, but it is time we stop assuming things."

"Oh, but it makes life so much more interesting." I turned on my heel and returned to the hall. Kelsey and I did not need to take weapons from Edoras, for we had the bags and Amanda couldn't fight anyway.

I found Kelsey anxiously twisting her hands as she scurried after Mandy and dragged her away from the armory.

"You'll just kill the guy!" could be heard over the din in the hall. Imagine that, Mandy kills Legolas. What a thought.

Eventually, somebody managed to control the general chaos around us and the three of us meandered over to Theoden's big throne thing. I plopped down into it and Kelsey perched on an arm while Mandy leaned against the side of the high back. Whoever designed this chair was a moron, cuz the height made anyone sitting in it look short.

"Hey, has anyone seen Ernie?" Mandy asked casually.

Kelsey and I shared a horrified glance. "Armory!" we shouted in unison, knowing the damage Ernie was liable to inflict when surrounded by sharp things would make Mandy's destructive ability seem like nothing. We ran off in the general direction of general weaponry.

We found Ernie without much ado, and then proceeded to drag him back to the throny thing. Despite its defects, it was really quite comfortable. There, hiding behind the chair, looking as if they were eating each other's faces, were Legolas and dear Mandy. I knew she had mentioned Ernie much too casually. The two were promptly separated.

Within the hour, we had eaten and mounted up without much trouble other than seating arrangements.

To quote Tolkien on this momentous occasion: "Forth Eorlingas!"

* * *

**_Short, sweet, and to the point. Mandy asked me to type up Edoras, since the original was way too out of cannon. The section isn't even that long, so I just did it! Yippee! For the wrestling match, and the eating of faces, I would like the thank Amanda's boyfriend, who hasn't read this part yet, but will (hopefully) recognize the term of "face eating." The two of you really need to exercise self control. Dude, you are disrespecting Amanda and giving her a bad reputation! If you two are going to eat each other raw, get married! Do it Mexican! _(Mandy: ...don't ask) _And by the way, you are a vicious brute! Sorry, reviewers, that was for Mandy's boyfriends who decided to insult Kelsey and me thinking it counted as a compliment to Mandy. He didn't even read the chapter, just reviewed cruelly. I also happen to be in a bad mood right now, cuz I have a practical tomorrow (as of typing, not posting this) on a marriage ceremony in Veracruz. My spouse and I have to tie a bow in a twenty foot rope using only our feet!_**

**OMG...Nickel, this chappy is AWESOME! LOL, I revised it to include all the dialouge that took place on Friday...tee hee...with you talking to us and stuff...MWHAHAHA! LOL Legolas is coming off as kind of a loser...my boyfriend's a lot sweeter, in my opinion, which no one cares to ask for. Love you Isaac!--Mandi (P.S.) we really need to shorten our notes at the end. R&R please!)**

Ummm...wow...Mandy's really going off the deep end guys...Well, at least Nicole and I will remain steady!! I'm on the flip side of Nicole's mood right now: I'm pretty happy! It's Saturday!!!! And I'm listening to "O Shone Nacht." (The "o" in "Shone" should have those two little dots over it, so it's pronounced "Shur-nuh.) Well, I guess that's not so cool 'cause I have to do it for an audition coming up and sing it for our Region concert...fun...So, I have it playing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over...again...and again...trying to get the hang of it 'cause it's in German and the accompaniment does not help the singer at all...AT ALL!!!! Anyway, you get the point! R&R!!! --The Editor

**Review please, wonderful reviewers! I'm hoping to reach the 50 mark by the 10th chappy!**

**(hint: this is the 8th. Push the little purplish/blue button on the bottom left and review!)**


	9. New Visitors

**Guess what?! It's MY B-DAY! YAY::dances:: HEE HEE! Okay, I typed up a nice, long chappy for you. Unfortunately, I will be gone during Thanksgiving Break and will not be able to update. ::cries:: Forgive me!!!! Besides, I'm giving you a gift on MY birthday. You'll live. And I'll get a nice, long chappy for you when I'm back. So live. Reviwers...**

**BlackRosePoison-Orchid--**LOL coolio story! Update! And review our story! 'Cause reviews make me happy... : D

**Iceprincess141414--**Which crush? My real one or the fanfic one: P LOL, one of my friends is a Freshman and she's dating a Junior. It's pretty common to see that in high school. Besides, it took me 3+ months to catch my guys, the real one or the fanfic one. (Real-met on June 3, went out on September 1. Fanfic-met before Oct. 25 (council), am kind of dating at this point in the fic, so mid-March).

**Gina--**Mine looks like it's purple! I swear! LOL here's the part where you come in. And now I have to fit Katya in...oh geezes...

**Titvan--**YAY! New reviewer! Here's a cookie! I actually made some last night for my birthday... : D Anyway, Mandy was trying to fish for Leggy so she could ride with him...yeah, my character has MAJOR fangirl issues...

**Guess what (again)?! Cookies for everyone::throws out cookies:: YAY! I love you guys. Have a good Thanksgiving! Nickel, I'm sorry I posted this before you could review it, but...well, I wanted to post it! Love you too... :D**

**Disclaimer--**Nope. Don't own it. ::phone rings:: Hang on a sec. "Uh huh...Yes?! Did we get it?! YES?! PARTY::dances:: Wait...what?! Oh...okay. Bye." No, don't have it. ::cries::

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New Visitors

Mandy's PoV

"I don't get it."

"What don't you get Mandy?" Kelsey asked, turning around in her saddle.

"Yeah, you're not that stupid," Nickel said sarcastically. "What could you possibly not get?" I shot her a nasty look.

"What I don't get is that the one day I wake up early enough so I can disobey you guys and ride on a horse with Leggy, we all get our own horses!" I sighed. "It's SO not fair."

"Shut up, Mandy," Ernie advised. I glared at him.

"You shut up!" I shouted.

"Oo…great comeback," he said sarcastically. "Whatcha gonna do next? Yell 'boo' to try and scare me?" I stared at him, lower lip trembling.

"Why is everybody picking on me?!" I whined.

"Shut up!" Nickel advised. I scowled, watching Ernie.

"I'm going to ride with Legolas, 'cause he's more sympathizing!" I announced, kicking my horse forward.

"Oh no you don't!" Kelsey shouted behind me. "Not without someone to keep an eye on you!" I rolled my eyes. "And don't roll your eyes at me, young lady!" Geez, could she, like, read my mind? Plus, she's, like, almost a year younger than me and calling me "young lady." The nerve "Yes, Mandy, I can read your mind, I'm younger than you but just a _tad_ bit more mature, and I have a _ton_ of nerve." Drat.

"Okay…" I shut my eyes and thought of my happy place, with a rainbow in the back as an added feature. "What am I thinking of now?"

"Your happy place."

"With—"

"With a rainbow."

"What the—"

"Language Mandy," Nickel advised. I scowled.

"I'M LEAVING!" I shouted back at them, only to hear someone else behind me. "Hi, Kelsey."

"What's the bet Kelsey gets Mandy back here before, say, lunchtime?" I heard Nickel bet. Looking back, I saw Ernie rummaging through his pockets.

"Er…I've got a penny on Kelsey getting Mandy back at dinner."

* * *

**Nicole's PoV**

"OW OW OW!"

"Told you!" I announced happily to Ernie as Kelsey rode up, one of Mandy's ears between her forefinger and thumb.

"Kelsey, why are you being so mean!" Mandy whined, struggling to get out of Kelsey's grip.

"Because you should not be associating with a person who is fictional in our world," she retorted.

"Oh yeah. And you weren't 'associating' yourself with Haldir, were—OW!" Mandy clutched the back of her head. "What was that for?"

"That was for…shut up, Mandy," Kelsey snapped. Suddenly, Mandy sat up tall on her horse.

"I'M FREE!" she cried and rode off. I shrugged and dismounted from my horse. What freaky things, horses…

"Mandy! Come back!" Kelsey ordered, riding after her.

"Okay, I guess I'll just…stay here…" I called, but it was lost among Mandy's whoops and Kelsey's screams…and all the shouting from people they were annoying.

"Nickel?"

"Yes, Gina?"

"Why is Mandy running around on a horse? No, wait. Why is Kelsey chasing Mandy around?"

"Gina, that's a very good…GINA!" I turned around in disbelief. "What the— How did you get here?! Why are you here?! And…" I paused, watching yet another friend who had popped up play with a donkey. "And what the heck is Paco doing here?"

"Oh…um…that's a good question," Gina replied, reaching back to tie her hair. Then she stopped. "Paco! Stop playing with that poor animal!"

"I'm not playing!" he yelped, eyes wide behind Harry Potter-like glasses. "This stupid thing bit me!"

"That stupid thing is how I get money!" some guy yelled.

"Geez! Sorr-y!" Paco shouted back.

"Why are we shouting?" Ernie asked. The guy glared at us, then pulled his animal away from us, grumbling about 'stupid kids.'

"Do you think I could get him from here?" Ernie asked eagerly, drawing his sword and aiming it like he was going to throw it. Gina leapt back.

"Whoa! How'd he get something sharp and shiny?" she asked.

"Don't ask," I advised, then pointed my staff at Ernie, muttering, hopefully, incoherently. Immediately, a fountain of water shot out at him and almost knocked him off the horse.

"Hey!" he gurgled. "Waah ooo fiiiiii oooo-ing?!?!?!?!?!?!"

"Did you get any of that?" Gina asked, horrified.

"Nope." I turned away. "And I don't want to."

"Oh…okay." Gina turned to me. "Now…what the heck? What are you wearing?" I looked down. A brown tunic, brown leggings and a darker brown cloak were the clothes I had slapped on this morning. Now why was she flipping out about…oh, yeah. Right.

"How am I supposed to explain this?" I mussed. "These are normal clothes around here. And in case you didn't know, this isn't home." Gina glanced around.

"Yeah…just maybe I noticed," she replied sarcastically. "I mean, we're obviously not in Kansas anymore." I blinked.

"Kansas?"

"Yeah." I stared at her.

"Gina, we didn't live in Kansas." Now it was Gina's turn to stare. Then she brought her hand up to her forehead.

"Nickel, I was quoting a movie."

"…Okay…"

"'The Wizard of Oz.'" I frowned. Hang on, the wheels are turning…

"Oh, yeah!" It clicked. Gina rolled her eyes at me before noticing something.

"Paco! Stop playing with the animals!"

"I'm—OUCH—not playing!" he squeaked. I glanced over to see some horse leaning over to bite him. Poor Paco.

"Whatever," Gina sighed. "Now, where the heck are we?"

"Probably halfway to Helm's Deep." Gina stared.

"What?"

"You know…Middle-earth." Blank stare. "The Lord of the Rings?" Gina blinked, then—

"Oh!"

* * *

**Gina's PoV**

"Paco!" I dove after the idiot as he tried to steal a rather pretty white horse. "Paco, stop it now!" The old guy on the horse was whacking Paco on the head with a stick.

"Hey! Stop that! Ow! OW!"

"Paco!" Nicole ran over, awkwardly dragging a large stick with her. She pointed it at Paco and muttered something again. Taking the cue from the last time she had that out, I ducked. But I didn't hear any big splash, so I chanced a glance up. Paco was gone. Simply gone. There was no smoke, no glittery cloud, nothing. He was just...gone.

"Sorry, Theoden," Nicole apologized. I stared at her.

"NICOLE!" I shouted. She turned, a smug smile on her face. "WHAT HAPPENED TO PACO?!?!?!?!"

"I sent him back home," she replied simply. "The space time thingy…I don't think it should be messed up." I stared.

"WHAT?!?!"

"Gina, stop shouting." I clamped my mouth shut. "Do you want to hang out with us LotR freaks?"

"I thought I was a LotR freak!" I contradicted. Nicole rolled her eyes.

"You know what? People are going to get confused with too many of us running around." Nicole pointed her stick at me. "Bye, Gina! You'll forgive me later."

"What?!?!" I yelped, but it was too late. Her stick blasted me with wind and a moment later I was sitting in the back of Mrs. Wulf's geometry class with Paco. We stared at each other.

"Okay, what just happened?"

* * *

**Kelsey's PoV**

I rode up to where Nickel stood, enjoying a yelling contest with Gandalf by the looks of it.

"Nickel!"

"Yeah?" I dismounted.

"What was that weird light thingy? Did you do something with your staff?" Gandalf scowled.

"We had some…visitors." I paused, then glared at Nickel.

"Nickel! Did you ruin canon?"

"No…I fixed it!"

"Bad Nickel! Bad…wait, what?"

"Paco was trying to steal some horses," Nickel explained. "I figured we still needed those."

"Who?"

"Paco…and Gina." I frowned. What?

"What?"

"'Sup my peeps?" Mandy asked as she rode up, giggling. "Heehee…peeps. Like the marshmallows…Kelsey, can you get me some Peeps out of your bag?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I—"

"—Said so." Mandy finished. "Nickel?" Nicole pulled out a bag from her bag and tossed them to her. "YAY! Sugar!" My jaw dropped.

"Excuse me—"

"Twit!" Gandalf said sternly. "I need to talk to you about—"

"—About using my staff," she finished. At least I wasn't the only one having their sentences finished for me.

"Yes, actually," Gandalf replied coolly. "Come." And with that he dragged Nickel away as she waved at us happily.

"What was that all about?" Mandy asked, her mouth filled with a Peep.

"Paco and Gina were…apparently…here."

"Oh…where are they?"

"Nickel poofed them away."

"Oh." I mounted up and we rode on, not wanting to be left behind.

"Ya know, we've been going by book verse a lot…you know, like by events and such."

"Yeah…"

"Well, then there shouldn't be any wargs!"

"Uh…then why is Gandalf here?" I paused. For once, our dear Amanda had a point… At that point, Nicole trotted over.

"Well, he's finally gone."

"Who?" Mandy asked.

"Gandalf. To get Erkenbrand—the freak who's in charge here," Nickel quickly answered Mandy's unasked question.

"Oh." Mandy looked around, confusion still etched in her face. "So the wargs won't show up?"

"Yeah…I guess so," I replied…It seems I spoke a bit too soon...

* * *

**YAY! Big long chappy. Now be happy for a week...maybe two. Btw, Ernie was trying to say "What do you think you're doing?!" I tried that scene out on my sister. I pointed the water hose at her when we were washing the car and that's what it sounded like. Anyway, I'll make sure to type up ASAP guys! But for now, R&R! --Mandi**

Hey, y'all! Hope life's treatin' ya well! Another _slightly_ amusing chapter...Just ever so _slightly _amusing...Haha! But honestly! I've been misrepresented! I'm not that mean at all! Ya hear? AT ALL! I'm actually quite nice, really...I'm only not nice when lovely readers don't review...Then I'm like the fanfic Kelsey... --The Editor

**NOTICE**

**Last time I did this, it worked. 3 reviews?!?! Come on people! Will you all review for my b-day?!?! Please?!?!?! Reviews make me happy! Please?!?! It's really sad when an author has to beg!!!! Please: D**


	10. Nicole Makes Out With Legolas

**Hola! Guess what? I got my hair cut! And so did Kelsey! YAY! Anyway, here's the next, long awaited (I'm sure) chappy in our part two! YAY! I just wanted to make that sound good...reviewers...**

**Jousting Elf with a Sabre--**hehe...I like your name...and you're wrong. We do use bad language, but it's censored. ; ) Thank you for reviewing!

**Aranel Cugedhiel--**your name's hard to spell...teehee...oh well. Thanks for reviewing! Even if you are...confusing...you made my head hurt trying to figure out what you were saying... ; )

**Iceprincess141414--**::takes cookie:: Gee...thanks!

**Cryptic Sarcasm--**can't wait to read more! Thank you!

**Gina--**hey...nickel didn't do anything either. Besides, I took you out for coffee and chocolate. Be happy. Glad you liked it! I want to turn the hose on her again...grr...

**Hope you guys had a good Thanksgiving! I know I did, except that I was cut off from the rest of civilization...grr...**

**Disclaimer--**do I really have to keep doing this?!?!?! I DON'T own it! But I do own the frying pan in this chapter!!! YAY!

**

* * *

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**Nicole Makes-Out With Legolas**

**Surprised?**

**Kelsey's PoV**

"Wargs! We're under attack!" Aragorn sprinted toward us, yelling. Nicole and I turned, looking pointedly at Mandy.

"What?!" She whined. Nicole sighed.

"Well? Are we going to fight the wargs or no?" She asked, one hand gripping her staff tightly.

"Fight!" I voted, pulling out some cayenne pepper, a rather large sword, a dagger…

"Run away!" Mandy squeaked, eyes wide. "I don't wanna fight and kill people!" Nicole rolled her eyes.

"Fine. You go with Eowyn." I ordered. Mandy gladly took off after the group of women and children, apparently not realizing that she had jumped off her horse and left it behind.

"You can have the horse." Nicole threw the reins on some soldier before pulling out something from her quilted purse.

* * *

**Narrator's PoV**

There is no experience like battle for serving as a completely useless enterprise. No matter how many times you fight, you still have to create new skills each time. Fortune, however, dictates that in all battles someone must suffer. Fortunately for the people of Rohan, they were not the ones to suffer. Our heroines, however, suffered many…wounds…

* * *

**Nicole's PoV**

I swung my frying pan—yes, a frying pan—and my staff at the swarm of insects surrounding me. This cloud of invertebrates bit and nipped at me. Finally, frustrated, I blasted them away as best I could for an apprenticed wizard.

I saw Kelsey fighting the pests over to one side, but let her be for a moment. My chief concern was rather the large warg and orc charging toward her. I grabbed my horse and charged forward, swinging the staff and cookware. The orc didn't know what hit him.

"Kelsey! Duck!" She ducked and I blasted the gnats. Kelsey ran forward, her horse having abandoned her, and jumped up behind me as the warg that was charging at her skid to a stop and flung it's rider over the cliff.

"Save Aragorn!" Kelsey suddenly said.

"What?"

"It's canon!"

"Only in the movies!" Kelsey shook her head, suddenly torn between canons. I rolled my eyes. "Oh fine!" I kicked the horse toward the cliff, swinging my weapons as Kelsey dug out a rope. "Ready?"

"Ready." I swerved as we came to the cliff and, just as the warg went flying, Kelsey threw the rope in a loop and hauled Aragorn up. One warg concussion later and Aragorn was back in battle.

"Hey, where's Ernie?" I asked suddenly, frowning. "He was with you guys…"

"I dunno." Kelsey mumbled, voice muffled seeing as her face was blocked by Aragorn's chest since Kelsey was hugging him. Suddenly annoyed, I pushed them. Both flew over the cliff. I stared at them.

"Oops…" I whacked an orc that I heard breathing behind me. "Oh well."

* * *

**Kelsey's PoV**

"WHEE!!!!!!!!" What? Though I might as well enjoy myself as long as I'm falling off the side of a cliff. "Hey! Rocks! Wait…ROCKS! AHH!" I skydived to one side. The cliff seemed higher than the one in the movie. Aragorn had dropped like a stone, but my dress's skirt fanned out—it helped, but it was _so_ indecent. Ick.

PLOP

I hit the water gently and floated down the river. This was a nice river. Except for the wargs dropping from the sky.

Getting a brilliant idea, I pulled out my bag and, out of bag, I found a large inner tube and climbed in. Finally I could get to work on my tan. Whee…

* * *

**Mandy's PoV**

"Don't you just wish you could fight?" Eowyn asked me within minutes of being safe behind the fortress. I gave her what I thought was an odd look and hugged my knees to my chest.

"Yeah, maybe…then Kelsey won't kick my butt."

"What?"

"Defeat me." I corrected, standing up to stand beside her, watching for Nicole and Kelsey and—I smiled, embarrassed—Legolas. Eowyn looked at me, her eyes questioning.

"But what about the glory?" She asked, astounded. "That and the renown of battle? Is not that a good cause?"

"You've seen too many Hollywood movies." I commented.

Eowyn looked at me quizzically…again. "What?"

I rolled my eyes. "Nevermind."

* * *

**Back with Merry and Pippin…**

"Eyes itch," Pippin sang

"Trees twitch," Merry joined in.

"Spring is on the move,"

"Pollen falls,"

"Sneeze calls,"

"And we are off to war!" They chanted, riding on Treebeard's shoulders. Treebeard looked over at them.

"Bar-um…where did you learn that?" He asked, voice rumbling deeply.

"Nickel, our companion—the one you spoke of with Gandalf."

"It is such a light song…" Treebeard sighed. "For times such as this…"

* * *

**Nicole's PoV**

"Aragorn?" Legolas called.

"Aragorn?" Gimli shouted.

"Do I detect a parrot?" I asked innocently. "Or an echo? Oo! Echo echo!" Gimli growled, swinging his ax up and aiming for me. "Eep!" I leapt out of the way and Gimli ended up beheading some orc.

"Lady Nicole." Uh oh. Legolas was mad. But do I care? Survey says: no! "Thanks to you, Gimli has killed the orc I was interrogating of the whereabouts of Aragorn."

"Oh no!" I cried sarcastically. "Legolas is using long words to threaten me! Whatever shall we do?" I pretended to swoon, half hoping someone would catch me. But no one did. "Hey!"

"Hush!" Gimli ordered. "We are still searching for our comrade."

"Oh shut up, Gimli." I grumbled, fingering my staff. "You know what? I don't like you. Speaking of which, Legolas, I don't like you either. You're such a gentleman for Mandy, but you act like a jerk to everyone else!"

"Lady Nicole." Legolas was shaking with rage. Oo…this was interesting. "It is your big mouth, your shrill voice, and your ability to annoy anyone you come across that makes me not like you."

"Mandy on the other hand…" I smirked, egging him on. Legolas's face broke into a smile.

"Lady Amanda is—"

"STOP!" I hit him with my frying pan. "No going on romantic on me, or Mandy for that matter! Or…or I'll tell Mandy we had an affair!" Legolas looked horrified. I paused. "You know what? That makes me look bad. Nevermind."

* * *

**Kelsey's PoV**

"Kelsey…Kelsey…KELSEY!" Aragorn shouted.

"So shiny…so calm…"

"LADY KELSEY!"

"AAH!" I fell off my bag into very cold water. When I spluttered to the surface, I found myself glaring at Aragorn. "What?"

"We must return."

"Why? This river is so peaceful…"

"Lady Kelsey—"

"I know, I know, they need our wonderful prowess in battle. Fine." Aragorn led the horse over and I jumped up gleefully. He mounted behind me. Fun.

"Bye river!"

* * *

**_Hi, people, mandy wrote new chapter. I'm at her house since it was her b-day last night! anyway, I gave her popping corn, last year I gave her chips! I wrote most of this chapter, except the affair thing and PoV #1. Today I get to work on girl scouts stuff and I have a poster to do on the dailly life of the apache. And I hope I get time to stretch and improve my 180 degree panche! Go Me!_**

**Hola peoples! Dude...I love this chapter! And my birthday last night was flippin' awesome...except for the part where Nickel smothered me with my own blanket. Idiot. But it was fun. Teehee! Anyway, this was the soonest I could get a new chappy up. Hope you guys like it!!!! Btw, Nickel and I are BOTH glad she did not make out with Legolas. At all. Thank God.**

**Kelsey...I'm sorry. But I wanted to update. I heart u! And I'll have the next chappy up soon for u to edit and add ur comments to!**

**P.S. If you like this chappy, review! Maybe we can get 50 soon!!!! R&R please!**


	11. The Plot Unfolds, Slowly

**...I'M SORRY! I know, it's been awhile. But with finals and all that studying...grr. But now that's over with. Thank goodness. Also, you guys really disappoint me. 3 reviews?! 3! I really think we deserve some appreciation here!**

**: ( I'm going to go cry now...**

**Jousting Elf with a Sabre--**Coolio! We're b-day gals! YAY! Ugh...I feel terribly old. As Nickel reminded me, not too much longer 'till I can drink achohol legally! Heehee...talking about short attention span, you should so read this review I wrote for this one girl. If you want me to post it with the next chapter, review. ; )

**Aranel Cugedhiel--**Sorry it's taken awhile. Stupid finals and studying...btw, funny you mention that about Nickel making out with Legolas. She thought it'd catch people's attention. Apparently it did...

**Gina--**6 more to go!!!! Will we get it on this chapter? Order people to review and maybe we will...Geez, my hair is so messed up right now. An hour and a half of tennis while wearing a hat and my hair looks like crap. Joy...

**Thunder Ring--**You are so lucky! I was just about to post this when I saw that someone else had reviewed! And you're new! Here's a cookie::hands out cookie:: Join the MBDTA club...we've got jackets! ; )

**PEOPLE! REVIEW!**

**I may seem like a bother, but we want to know how we're doing! I mean, doesn't every author?**

**Disclaimer--**No. I'm running out of cool disclaimers. Basically, Mandy and Nickel and Kelsey and Ernie are ours. You want them? YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM! Or you can ask for them. Maybe we'll give them to you then. Oh! And I have a free, virtual, Legolas pillow! It's about the size of your head. You want it? First reviewer--it will be your prize!

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The Plot Unfolds...Slowly

Nicole's PoV

"Okay, fine. I _realize_ that we're carrying wounded people and stuff. But can we please move faster?!" I yelped from my spot at the head of the column.

"Excuse me, but I am the King!" Theoden yelled. As if I needed reminding—the guy's last name was King, may I remind you. "The King is at the head of his people."

"Well I'm not 'your people', am I?" I retorted. "Now can we please go faster?"

"Lady Nicole," Legolas said in what sounded like a low hiss. "Helm's Deep is only a few leagues away. Can you not see it?" I looked in the direction he was pointing and squinted.

"Oh yeah…last one there's a rotten egg!" I yelped, kicking my horse. It stopped. "Hey! What gives?"

"Allow me." Legolas offered, sighing.

"NO!" I pointed my staff at him. "Knowing you, you'll do something very mean!" Legolas shrugged.

"_Noro lim_."

"NOOOO!" I screamed as the horse leapt forward. "I'll get this for you Legolas!"

* * *

"Look out! Duck! No! That means get out of the way!" I screamed. The stupid Rohan guys thought they could stop a horse after it had been told to run faster in Elvish. Idiots. "Eeeaaahhhh!" 

"Whoa!" Some guy jumped out of the shadows and grabbed my horse's reins. Amazingly, the horse stopped.

"Legolas!" I shouted. "I'm going to kill you!" I then turned to my hero, some guy who seemed about my age. "Gee, thanks." The boy bowed.

"It was my pleasure." Oo…he was hot.

"No! Mind out of the gutter!" I yelped, hitting my forehead. The boy gave me a funny look as I dismounted.

"Nickel!" Someone body-slammed me, knocking me to the ground. "You're back! You're not dead! How was it? Where's Legolas? Where is he, Nickel? What is—"

"Mandy!" I yelled, pushing her off me before I looked around. "Where _is_ Legolas?" How lucky. They were riding up right now. The moment they stopped, I leapt at Legolas.

"Nicole!"

"Idiot! Idiot, idiot, idiot!" I hit Legolas with the frying pan and my staff.

"No! Bad Nicole!" Mandy shrieked, pulling me off Legolas.

"Ha! Now you won't like him anymore!" I yelled in delight. "He's battered beyond recognition!" Mandy stared at him as he tried to hide a black eye and a rather large bump on his head.

"Yeah right," she retorted as he dismounted before hugging him tightly.

"EW!" I scrunched up my nose as Eowyn glided down the stairs.

"So few," she murmured. "So few of you have returned."

"Yeah, well don't worry," I advised. "Aragorn'll come back." Eowyn looked startled at this. "Yeah, we know you've been crushing on him."

"Was it really that obvious?" she asked, flushing.

"Uh…yes. Very obvious." Mandy answered, grinning.

"Now, as for Kelsey—" I continued.

"Kelsey?" Mandy looked around. "Where is Kelsey?"

"She's with Aragorn."

"Oh." Eowyn looked disappointed.

"It's okay, it'd be weird if you married him," Mandy assured her. "'Cause Kelsey thinks of him as her daddy."

"Hi everybody!" Ernie walked up.

"Where have you been?" I asked. "You've been gone since…well…a really long time!" He looked a bit uncomfortable.

"Uh…well…okay, but Eowyn doesn't get to hear. And neither does Legolas! it's kind of," his voice dropped to a whisper, "strange."

"Well, Nickel can tell me later," Mandy announced, edging toward Legolas.

"No," I told her. "You are staying with me." And with that, I dragged her by the ear to a room. Ernie followed, slowly closing the door behind him.

"Okay," he started. "Well, after Gina disappeared."

"Gina?"

"We've gone over this, Mandy."

"Sorry."

"Well, I was laying on the ground since you knocked me out—"

"Nickel!" Mandy shrieked at me.

"What?"

"That wasn't nice!" she complained.

"Hush."

"—And this big eyeball, the Eye of Sauron, I think, was staring at me."

"Odd," Mandy commented.

"Hush, Mandy," I snapped.

"So I decided on a conversation."

"Good plan." I reached over and slapped Mandy.

"Anyway, I asked It where I was," Ernie continued.

"Did it answer?" I asked. Mandy took this opportunity to hit me back.

"No, It just floated around there and looked menacing."

"That's really corny," Mandy muttered.

"And then I woke up by then and you guys were gone."

"And that's even cornier," Mandy commented. "I'm leaving."

"Wait!" Ernie grabbed her arm. "Then I heard a voice."

"So? We all have voices." I tapped my head.

"It was the Eye!"

"…Oh."

"It said one word."

"What was that?"

"Master."

"Yeah…" Mandy edged towards the door.

"But what does that mean?" Ernie demanded.

"You're having delusions?" Mandy suggested.

"We knew that," I chided. "It's probably of great importance, whatever's going on. In fact, I'm sure of it." Mandy frowned.

"Nickel, what's going on?"

"Ernie is Sauron's Master, obviously." All I got was blank stares. "Therefore, he's got to be Morgoth, Melkor, the fallen angel!" I shrieked.

"Oh…" Ernie looked thoughtful—an unusual occurrence. "So what's that got to do with anything?" With that, I launched into a tirade over Morgoth, who he was, what he did, and the like. Mandy and Ernie just sat on the floor and played rock, paper, scissors. What kids.

"So, that is why it matters," I ended.

"Could you repeat that?" Ernie asked, looking up at me.

"No!" I snapped.

"Geez! Sorry…" He mumbled. I looked around.

"Hey, where's Mandy?"

* * *

**Mandy's PoV**

I skipped down the hallway, gloating.

"I got away from Nickel! I got away from Nickel!" I sang softly.

"Mandy!" I ran from Nickel's voice, ducking behind doors. Not a great hiding place, really, but it would do. Then I heard another voice. I put my ear to a rather obvious hole in the wall.

"Valar! She ought to be punished…that stupid, insolent she-elf worthy of orc's company! Arg!" I frowned. Leggy was mad…and I think it was because of Nickel. (A/N: No…dur. Man, my character's stupid…)

"Someday, Valar, make her suffer as she has made me suffer!" I heard something bang against the wall and I leapt back.

"Leggy!" I shouted. "Don't hurt Nickel!"

"Arg! My conscience!" Something hit the wall again. Peeking through the hole this time, I saw Leggy holding his head and wincing.

"Stop hurting yourself Leggy!" I whimpered. "You're already hurt enough!" 

"Evil conscience!"

"Leggy! It's me!"

"Who?"

"Mandy—"

"MANDY!" I winced as Nickel threw open the door I was behind and grabbed my ear. "You bad, bad girl!" And with that she dragged me down the hall, ignoring my protests.

**

* * *

Kelsey's PoV **

"Hey! Where are the Uruk-hai?" I asked, frowning. I leaned forward on the horse and scanned the surrounding land in a dramatic fashion.

"Hmm…" Aragorn answered.

"Hello? Are you awake?" I gently nudged him, giggling as he slumped forward.

"Mmm…"

"Guess not." I urged the horse forward. Night was pretty far off, but we still had a long way to ride.

Not too long after midday, I stopped the horse.

"There they are!" I shrieked, watching a large mass of ugly guys march in front of me. Aragorn snorted. "Oh, be quiet! _Noro lim_! Ride like the wind, Bullseye!" (Gollee! I sound like such a dork!)

**

* * *

Mandy's PoV **

I sat quietly—no need to get in more trouble—watching Nickel pace in front of me. Ernie sat in another chair reading something. We were in the room we'd claimed before and Nickel was about to chew me out. Hey…this room was really pretty! It had a gold-like ceiling and the walls were a dark mahogany…or a really, really dark brown. (A/N: the difference being that mahogany grows in South America and is kind of reddish.) There was a red couch, which I was sprawled on, a blue chair, where Ernie was, and a pretty bed…I want to go to sleep…Wow, I got off topic really fast.

"I am ashamed of you, Amanda!" Nickel raged. Ooo…she had used my full name. Now I'm in big trouble. "You left us during a time of great trial for Ernie! Don't you see that we must assist him?" Okay…apparently she hadn't seemed to realize why I'd snuck off. "Furthermore, I have a job for you." I perked up immediately.

"I need you to keep watch in the tall tower with the horn for Kelsey and Aragorn." I thought about it.

"Okay!" I yelped, leaping up. I could get Leggy to come with me. Then he couldn't kill Nickel. She is my friend, no matter her faults.

I scampered off.

* * *

**Okay, come on people. Make my finals worth while and REVIEW! OR I WILL NOT UPDATE ANYMORE! Not really, I love this fic too much...but I will be very sad. --Mandi**

**_Nicole: Mandi I will kill you if you voice what we have discussed! I love Finals! we get out early! But my brain hurts. _**

_**BTB, even if you do not have an account, you can review. Just go as anonymous . . . however that is spelt. **_

I hate FINALS!!!! --The Editor

**...Is 5 reviews too much to ask for? We get so many hits and no reviews...shame...**

**Push the cool little button on your left and I'll be happy. Please. R&R**


	12. Our Friends Return

**Merry Christmas! Most of you probably won't read this until after Christmas, but oh well! Nickel and Kelsey are busy (well, you didn't tell me WHAT you were doing, Nickel) so I've decided to update sooner than I expected 'cause I love you guys! Btw, only 2 more reviews until we reach 50! YAY! Reviewers...**

**Theo--**YAY! You're new! Here's a present. (hands out (fill in the blank)). And a cookie. And I'm so glad Ernie's the coolest. He's not the best in rael life, but we made him better in the story 'cause he's...I'll wait to say what he is 'till the sequel. ; )

**Iceprincess141414--**LOL I know the feeling. Where you type but nothing comes out like it's supposed to? Yeah...GO BEING SUGAR HIGH!

**Just Me--**You're back! YAY! We missed you! I'm going to have so much fun with Ernie, but mostly his story is in the sequel. Still, you'll get to learn enough about him now and in RotK.

**Gina--**Our first reviewer this time! Here's the Legolas pillow. (hands over pillow). Just don't murder him. Have fun in New Mexico!

**OMG it's Christmas Eve! If any of you see Santa, say hi to him for me! Hope you all have a wonderful Christmahanakwanzadon and keep reviewing!**

**Disclaimer--**I officially do NOT own anything related to Lord of the Rings except for my characters and Ernie who is half mine/half Tolkien's because I'm morphing 2 chartacters. Deal with it.

**

* * *

**

**Our Friends Return**

**Nicole's PoV**

"Now to business!" I turned to Ernie. "Apparently, you are—in some way, shape, or form—the most evil being to ever exist that has been confined to the uttermost dark and has now returned." Ernie looked at me like I was crazy. I get that look a lot.

"So?"

"You're on the good guy's side and you're a bad guy, in a manner of speaking! Just don't get attracted to anything too shiny. It was your doom last time around. Now, we have to think of how to use this to our advantage." I began to pace, fully knowing that Ernie was watching my every move.

"Geez," he muttered, sitting back onto the couch and running a hand through his already wild hair. "This all started as a camping trip and your odd obsession with Lord of the Rings and now I'm the bad guy in a world where I can barely identify characters."

"Relatively speaking," I said quietly, still deep in thought. How was I supposed to find a reason to give the bad guy (figuratively) a reason to be good (figuratively)? "Of course! You're angry at Sauron for trying to take over the world—that's your job."

"What does that do?"

"It gives you a reason to stay on our side."

"That makes sense," Ernie commented.

"It's possible, yes, but we'll have to break it to everybody else slowly. Man…this is going to shock Kelsey…"

"But how do you know all this?" Ernie asked, frowning. I tried my best to put on a thoughtful expression.

"Well…clues, I guess. Sauron calling you Master…and Gandalf. Everything he's seen of you and what I know of you would explain how you could be Melkor or Morgoth." Ernie seemed to accept this and went back to his reading.

"Okay."

"Whatever." I sauntered out, heading toward the tower place. "Finish your reading, then come out. We need everyone we can get, but don't get killed."

"Aye aye, cap'n!"

* * *

Mandy wasn't there yet—no doubt she'd gone Legolas hunting—but Theoden was. 

"Hola!" I greeted him

He simply stared into the distance, contemplating.

"This is rather boring," I told him, and left.

* * *

**Mandy's PoV**

"Oh Legolas!" I sang, barging into the room where I'd heard him earlier. Unfortunately, I saw some ugly old guy instead. "Oops! Sorry!" I slammed the door shut to see Legolas emerging from another room. "Leggy!" I leapt at him, giving him a big hug. "I see you're healing."

"Oh that," Legolas touched his eye, where it had developed a lovely light, purplish coloring. "I had hoped it was healing."

"Hey, you want to come with me to the tower place?" I asked, grabbing his hand. "Nicole wants me to look for Aragorn and Kelsey." Legolas's features visibly grew darker.

"I will go, but I do not trust to hope," he said sadly. I rolled my eyes, dragging him along the hallway.

"What is it with Middle Earth and pessimism?" I demanded, pulling him up a staircase. "Do you realize that if everybody were pessimists like you, nobody'd have any hope? Actually…" I paused to decide which hallway to take. "Almost none of you people are optimists, save possibly Gandalf and Aragorn. Yeah, y'all are screwed." I glanced back at Legolas to see confusion fully etched into his features.

"Well…uh…" Legolas trailed off as I shoved a door open and cheered.

"The tower!" I yelped, running across the room towards the window, my upper half soon hanging out of it. "Whee!"

"Excuse me—"

"AAHH!" I screeched as hands grabbed my waist and pulled me away from the window. "Assault! Get off! What the—Theoden? What the heck are you doing here?" I demanded as soon as I had seen the face of my captor. At that moment Nicole burst in.

"Mandy, what's wrong?" She demanded, eyes wide at Theoden trying to restrain me. "Wow…what happened here?"

"He pulled me away from the window!" I whined as Theoden yelled, "She was about to hurl herself out of the window!" Legolas decided to intervene as well.

"She was just overexcited, Nicole," he began, but Nicole just scowled at him.

"Shut up," she snapped. "Theoden, let go of Mandy. I'm positive she wouldn't have thrown herself out of the window, and—"

"How do you know that?" Theoden demanded, releasing me. I squeaked and ran over to Legolas, cowering behind him.

"Um, she's not wearing a parachute," she reminded him. "And even Mandy's not that stupid." I stuck my tongue out at her. "Now, Theoden—"

"_King _Theoden," he reminded her.

"Whatever," Nicole waved it off. "One of your guards wants to talk to you. Something about defenses." With a wave of her hand, she left and Theoden followed, but not before shooting me a nasty look. I stuck my tongue out at him too before crossing to the window.

"Stupid meanie," I commented. Behind me, Legolas laughed and followed me over to the window. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and I giggled—sometimes being ticklish wasn't a good thing. Actually, when was it ever a good thing?

Legolas kissed the top of my head, and I was about to say something cute and mushy when something caught my eye.

"Kelsey and Aragorn are back!" I yelped, leaping from his arms and racing to the door. "Come on!" I ran back and grabbed Legolas's hand (he looked so bewildered...teehee) before stomping down the stairs and racing to the courtyard where Kelsey and Aragorn were dismounting. "Kelsey!"

"Wha—" I tackled Kelsey to the ground.

"You're back!" I squealed, hugging Kelsey tightly until Legolas pulled me off.

"Yeah," Kelsey gasped. "Where's…Nicole?"

"Somewhere," I answered. "But let's go. Aragorn's off to see the king!" Kelsey got up from the ground grudgingly and followed me. No sooner had we left the courtyard than Nicole ran up with Ernie.

"Oo…Kelsey's back," Ernie commented.

"No," Nicole muttered sarcastically. "It's an evil clone."

"Really?"

"No!"

"You're late." We all looked up to see Legolas and Aragorn talking. After a few quieter words, Legolas placed something shiny and silver into Aragorn's palm.

"Aah, it's okay." Nicole patted Eowyn's arm, who had suddenly appeared at Nicole's side. "You knew he was a loser."

"No he's not!" Kelsey snapped.

"Hey, does anybody have any food?" Ernie asked. I shrugged.

"No, but I'm hungry too. Let's find something to eat." I followed Aragorn and Legolas into the King's hall, hoping to find some type of food. And we walked in at such a great time.

"There are at least ten thousand strong," Aragorn informed Theoden, whose eyes bugged out. (A/N: Okay, I read this one fic where someone wrote 'bugged out' almost everytime something suprising happened. I just added it in 'cause it sounds really funny. They are not literally bugging out…though that is a very funny image...)

"Ten thousand?"

"Oh joy," I moaned. "Bunches of ugly orcs. I can't wait."

"We'll need every man and boy who can fight," Theoden mused, pacing.

"And us," Kelsey added.

"Us?!" I squeaked.

"Of course," Kelsey replied. "Oh yeah…and you have until nightfall to learn how to fight."

"Nightfall?!" Theoden and I both shrieked.

"But I CAN'T FIGHT!" I yelped.

"But we haven't the time!" Theoden shouted. Kelsey shrugged.

"Not my problem."

* * *

**Happy Chrismahanakwanzadon! R&R please!**


	13. Mandy Can't Fight

**Hey guys! Hope everybody had a wonderful holiday! I had a great one myself, but that's not the point of me posting. Sorry Nickel and Kelsey, but I really thought I ought to get this up. I'll email you next time there's a chappy for this, kay? Reviewers--**

**Iceprincess141414--**Thank you!...again... ;)

**Thunder Ring--**...I'm pretty sure you're new. Here's a cookie! And thank you!

**Gina--**...have fun in New Mexico? And, _si_, you are the 51st reviewer! Congrats!

**Theo--**He dosn't know...yet. But I called him last night so he's going to read it...and kill me at school the day after unless I mention someone thinks he's the awesomest character in then world! (Btw, thanks!)

**Disclaimer--**I'm running out of ideas. Forgive me, free peoples, I do not own LotR...yet.

* * *

**Mandy Can't Fight**

**Kelsey's PoV**

"Well, it's not my problem!" I insisted.

"Then how do you suggest I learn to fight in only a couple hours time?!" Mandy shouted, her face flushed and her hair askew.

"Don't," Nickel advised. "Learn how to duck and call for Legolas to help you." Mandy paused in her ranting.

"That's not a bad idea," she said thoughtfully.

"Then start learning." I grabbed my sword and swung it so that it barely skimmed her head.

"Hey!"

* * *

**Nickel's PoV**

I swung, Mandy ducked, I swung again and switched to a crowbar—not all Orcs have the same weapons. Kelsey had gone to find some other weapons and had left me with Mandy's life in my hands. Sometimes I wonder why she trusts me…

"Can we stop?" Mandy asked, jumping probably 3 feet in the hair.

"Orcs don't stop." I jabbed forward.

"But we can!"

"Get in shape Mandy!" I swung again, grabbing the spear Ernie offered and jabbed at Mandy's stomach. "Or," I grinned, "you can practice yelling for Legolas to help you."

"Leggy! Leggy help!" Mandy yelped. I jabbed her with the spear.

"You've died thirty times," I informed her as Legolas came running by and knocked the spear away. He pointed one of his knives at me. "Dead." Drat.

"Kelsey!"

"What?" Kelsey trotted over, dumping the fresh supply of weaponry.

"Is he supposed to be here?"

"Why shouldn't he be?"

"Because he's about to kill me!"

"Oh…sorry."

"Well?" I snapped. Kelsey grabbed her stash of weaponry and dumped it on Legolas.

"Hand these out. Now! Shoo!" She kicked his shin until he moaned. "There." I relaxed.

"Mandy, go find some sort of armor that won't make you fall over. I'm sure Legolas will help you." I'd said the magic word…again. Mandy scampered after her buddy.

"Now what?" Ernie sorted through the remaining weapons.

"We could wait," Kelsey suggested.

"I think we'll be waiting plenty." I hefted a glaive. "We could go boost everyone's morale!" A door slammed.

"I don't care if they can fight—The lady Amanda certainly can't, the lady Kelsey I haven't seen, and as for the lady Nicole, she is to be locked up! The boy can fight—"

"Trust me my lord." Aragorn interrupted a booming Theoden. "Do not let…Ernie fight, as he is as much a danger as—" They stopped, seeing us.

"Yo." Ernie waved a pot lid.

"_Ada_," Kelsey looked up at him from her spot on her knees. "I understand keeping Ernie—"

"Hey!"

"—And Nicole—"

"Traitor."

"—And especially Amanda from fighting, but please, for me—"

"Kelsey!"

"How could you?"

"Traitor!"

"—Let us all fight, _Ada_."

"What?!" Aragorn and Theoden were the least shocked by this.

"Lady Kelsey, you mustn't. Fighting in true battle is the duty of men. It is unsuitable for—"

"Please _Ada_?" I owe it all to Kelsey's puppy-dog eyes, for she soon had the 2 kings wrapped around her little finger. Aragorn struggled with his conscience. Theoden, however, was not strong-willed.

"Very well, lady Kelsey, very well. But you must remain on the wall, away from the gate. That will be the main attack point."

"Thank you, my lord." Kelsey curtsied deeply. Ernie gave Theoden a thumbs up and I gave him a dramatic bow. Then we fled, not wanting to push our luck.

**

* * *

Kelsey's PoV **

"Where do you think the armory is?" Nickel asked, opening a couple doors as Ernie kicked other doors open.

"Who knows?" I replied, opening yet another door. "Oh…found it." Inside the fairly small room was over a hundred people. And, in the very back corner, away from all the hustle and bustle, was Legolas and Mandy.

"Mandy!" Nickel yelped, spotting them. Everyone in the room froze as it echoed. Mandy and Legolas froze and looked at us innocently.

"What?"

"What were you doing?" Nickel demanded, elbowing her way past several people. Mandy flushed.

"Well…um…" I rolled my eyes.

"Mandy, get on with it." I demanded.

"I…uh…kissed him." Mandy mumbled. We stared at her. "What?"

"Mandy…you're just…" Ernie trailed off, swinging his sword. Immediately, all the men and boys made a path for him.

"Wow…Ernie and the parting of the crowd," I commented.

"Yeah…isn't it cool?" Ernie asked as he approached. "You know, I think people are scared of me."

"Just maybe Ernie," I muttered. "Just maybe." Meanwhile, Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli, had just noticed their fellow fighters…that weren't us.

"Farmers…stable boys. These are no soldiers," Aragorn commented scornfully.

"No dur," Mandy piped up.

"Most have seen too many winters," Gimli muttered.

"Or too few," Mandy and Legolas said in sync. He gave her a look which she returned with an innocent smile.

"What?" Legolas shook his head.

"Look at them," he continued. "They're frightened. I can see it in their eyes." Everyone stopped, including random people, and stared at him.

"What?!" Mandy snapped. "This isn't a showcase or a Broadway musical!" Legolas gave her another odd look before speaking to Aragorn in Elvish.

"And they should be," I translated, totally into letting the whole world know what he was saying. "Three hundred…against ten thousand?" Aragorn replied…also in Elvish.

"They have more hope defending themselves here than at Edoras…" Nickel put in.

"Aragorn!" Legolas burst out before quickly switching to Elvish.

"They cannot win this fight. They are all going to die!" I continued.

"You mean live happily ever after!" Mandy shouted.

"Than I shall die as one of them!" Aragorn burst out.

"Live happily ever after!"

"Mandy…shut up," Nickel snapped.

"What's wrong with being optimistic?" Mandy demanded. Aragorn scowled and stalked away. Legolas left the other way.

"Oh, this is great," Nicole said sarcastically.

"Yeah…well." I shrugged. "They'll get back together and be friends by the beginning of the battle."

**

* * *

Nicole's PoV **

"Kelsey…"

"I know, I know!"

"Kelsey, it's been over two hours!" I leaned back against the wall. "The sun is setting, the Uruk-hai are coming and Legolas and Aragorn aren't speaking to each other!" Suddenly, Mandy ran up.

"They're talking to each other!" she announced, skidding up to us and ramming into the wall, causing her to slide to the ground wearing a silly grin.

"And?" I asked, pulling her up.

"What?" she asked, puzzled.

"How'd you do it?" Kelsey asked, halfway impressed. Mandy pursed her lips together.

"Well…I just kind of talked to him and, well…" She shrugged, wearing a toothy grin. "I guess he just kind of found me persuasive…"

"Mandy!" I hissed. "You didn't do anything worse than kissing, did you?" Mandy's eyes flew wide open.

"What?!" she snapped. "No! Never! I just kissed him, that's all! I promise."

"Oh," I sighed. "That's okay then."

"Well, what did—" We all looked up as trumpets sounded in the deep.

"And cue Haldir!" Mandy cheered, leaping away. I glanced at Kelsey.

"You know this isn't book verse," I commented softly, watching her features glow happily. She just smiled.

"Yeah…but I'm glad he came anyway," she sighed. I groaned.

"Not two lovesick puppies!" I moaned, grabbing a rarely shy Kelsey's hand and hauling her over to the gate, where Legolas and Aragorn were greeting Haldir. Even Mandy gave him a hug before sidling over to Legolas, who put an arm around her slim shoulders. I pushed Kelsey forward.

"Hi." She smiled shyly, blushing furiously. Haldir smiled back like a gentleman and kissed her hand.

"Aww…" Mandy cooed. Kelsey glared at her, her face a burning red. "What?!" Legolas led Mandy away so Kelsey could not harm her.

"Well?" I put my hands on my hips. "Are we ready for a battle?"

* * *

**So?! Good holiday? Don't forget to check out my new fic, Where the Sues Go. I hope you all like it! --Mandi**


	14. The War Begins With Burgers?

**You all have no idea how much I've missed this site. Serious writers block, a job...everything just got jam-packed after winter break. Sorry, Nickel and Kelsey, but I had to get this out there.**

**All right, so you can kill me, beat me up...later. First a bit of business. While Nickel and I have remained in contact, Kelsey hasn't...as much. She'll still remain in the series--we won't kill her off and you haven't heard the last of her. But our editing may be a little wacko for a while.**

**Second, Power of a Purse is more than likely NOT going to be continued. As far as I know, the manuscript has disappeared. I'd make the rest of it up, but I had no hand in it and the writing styles would change and, frankly, I have enough on my plate right now. But I haven't been fair to you readers. So from now on, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights will be devoted to trying to create more chapters for the stories y'all have been curteous enough to follow. Plus, your reviews'll help my ego. :D Jk, jk. **

**Third, ya'll don't know how much your reviews and this site lifts my spirit. I've been having serious boy and parents problems, aside from schedule issues. Fanfiction is such a great way for me to vent and get out some feelings by laughing at how characters take on their own personalities and do whatever they want to do to make you laugh.**

**Enough rambling and touchy, feely stuff. You all are here for the story, and you shall have it...otherwise higher beings than I shall fire me, and I'm very comfortable here at the multi-book disclaimer travel agency. ;) So from all of us here at MBDTA, thank you and enjoy.**

**Disclaimer--**We don't own any of the companies we mention below, nor Tolkien's works.

* * *

**It Begins...with Burgers?**

**Mandy's PoV**

"Are they here yet?" I hissed, peeking out from behind Legolas. Nickel groaned.

"Do you see any torches, smell anything horrible, or hear clashing and banging?"

"…No…"

"Then they aren't here yet."

"I don't get it." Kelsey leaned against the wall and slid to the floor, letting her sword fall to the ground along with her bag (which we converted to a backpack thanks to Gandalf).

"The sun's down, and we haven't seen hide nor hair of them yet!"

"Why would we want to see an orc's hide?" I asked, frowning. "Like, a _be_hind? Ewww!" Nickel smacked my head. "Ow!"

"I meant we haven't seen them yet." Kelsey said, rubbing her forehead. Ernie, smirked, swinging his glowing sword for practice.

"Then they aren't coming?" I asked hopefully. Kelsey rolled her eyes and Nickel smacked me…again.

"What?!" I demanded. "Is it Hit Mandy Day or something?" (**A real holiday at my school, btw. Happens 365, 24/7 by Nickel.)** Nickel shrugged.

"I could arrange that." She snickered, but my wonderful elf pulled a dagger on her.

"I would like to see you try." A catfight almost broke out, but Aragorn stepped up.

"There is enough fighting in this world without you two creating a commotion each time the other opens their mouth." He snapped, and Nicole let her sword drop.

"Fun-sucker." She breathed heatedly, turning away. "When are they going to get here?" She asked, tapping her fingers on the stone wall. In the distance, a light flickered, I frowned. "It's been—"

"Oh my god!" I shrieked, jumping behind Legolas again. Hey, I'll take any reason to leap behind him, 'cause the guy looked fine from behind…you know you look too, don't laugh! Or not…if you're Nickel... "There's something out there!"

"Where?" Nickel straightened and pulled out a telescope-like thing, but it jammed. As she wrestled with it, Legolas pulled out one similar to it, but bigger. Nickel scowled and threw hers down, which I'm sure hit someone. (**Anyone seen PotC 3? Sound familar?)**

"Those lights!" I whispered, peeking out from behind Legolas and pointing. "See?!?!" Suddenly, creepy, tall, broad, ugly, fat, sneering, horrendous, spiteful, evil orcs appeared, marching, and screeching, and bellowing, and belching. Ernie looked down and threw a rock that hit the same guy Nickel's telescope hit.

Kelsey stood up and looked out. "Oh, that doesn't look too bad." She said. I stared at her and she lazily got to her feet.

"Are you crazy?!" I hissed. "Not too bad?! They're marching right at us! Those creepy, tall, broad, ugly, fat, sneering, horrendous, spiteful, evil—"

"We get the picture." Nickel snapped, and hit me again. I scowled, and hid behind Leggy again.

"Hola, Uruk-hai!" Kelsey voice suddenly boomed over all of Helm's Deep. I looked out to see her hoisting an amplifier in the air and yelling into a microphone. It was amusing to notice that none of the elves were moving to stop her, but personally I think they were scared of it themselves.

"Uh…Kelsey?" Nickel asked. "What are you doing?"

"Being nice."

"…Oh…"

"Anyway," Kelsey faced the Uruk-hai. "Greetings, dumbos! Do you know how late you are? Where in Middle Earth have you been?" There was a short silence.

"McDonalds!" One lone orc shouted before they all held up their burgers.

"McDonalds McDonalds!" They all chanted. Nickel, Kelsey and I all shared a look.

"Legolas," I asked soberly, trying to be serious. "Did you know about this?" His face was grim.

"Yes." He answered, just as sober. "Sauron's been using the fast food industry to build up his power in the different realms of Middle Earth." I snorted.

"They've invented fast-food in Middle Earth, and they still don't have flushable toilets?"

"Mandy, flushable is not a word."

"So? You know what I mean!" I took a deep breath, ready for a rant. " What the heck is he planning to do with fast food anyway? 'Oh, I am Sauron. I think I'll build fast food places to make the people of Middle Earth, and my minions, FAT! After all, if two worlds can be bridged, why not take the stupidest thing Earth ever came up with. Never mind the nuclear weapons and firearms. With fast food, who can stop me now?'" The others stared at me for a second after my imitations (which, I don't think were very bad. I made Sauron sound like Robin Williams) before Nickel and Kelsey burst out laughing, rolling on the ground with tears falling from their eyes.

Extremely pleased with myself, I tugged the microphone from Kelsey and waved to the crowd. Oddly, the orcs reminded me of the audience at my fifth grade talent show—ugly, smelly, and very noisy.

"So what's Sauron gonna do with fast food? Make you all fatter than you are? Don't you all ever think of salads? Or do you just order the Big Mac meal with the toy to go?" There was a silence. I was waiting for the drums that always go bada, shing! when a joke is said. Instead, an arrow, whizzed by my ear and almost struck my elf.

"Leggy!" I screamed, and leapt at him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"That's it!" Kelsey snapped. "You're going down, buster!"

"Um, I think you mean Wuster." One orc piped up. "Buster's still ordering his Big Mac." Kelsey just stared.

"What the heck?" Nickel muttered, still recovering from laughing, her arm slung around Ernie for support. Kelsey rolled her eyes.

"You're going down, Wuster!" She bellowed, chucking the mike and amplifier at the orcs.

"Run away!"

"Don't let it touch you!"

"It's the spawn of Morgoth!"

"I have a kid?" Ernie asked, confused. "But I never had—"

"Ernie, shut up."

"But he said 'spawn of Morgoth'. I'm Morgoth, where's my kid?" The entire valley was silent.

"Ernie, get down." Nickel snapped.

"But—"

"Now!" She pushed him down.

"Hey Nickel?" I asked.

"What?"

"Chicken butt!"

* * *

**And so** **the battle for Middle Earth continues...probably after I get an earful from Nickel. I'll tell you right now, I hate writing fighting scenes, but Nickel has written most of Helm's Deep and it's crazy and hard to read (yes, I can read your handwriting Nickel...when you turn it sideways...), but looks like another MBDTA classic fight scene, with little fighting from me and lots from Nickel and Kelsey.**

**Make my boss happy and click the little review button. Then I won't get fired. :D R&R, readers!**


	15. DEAD PEOPLE!

**YamiCarol:** thanx for your review, so sorry about the wait!

**Criptic Sarcasm:** recover?

**Queen Islanzadi:** Thankee thankee your highmostness! We likes the presents, yes the shiny!

**Just Me:** yes, and we update again!

**Iceprincess141414:** It's really amazing how soon after you reviewed that we updated, erie, cuz we almost thought we weren't writing anymore. Gasp!

**Urulokiwen:** peas in a pod. Have a rice krispi treat

**Gina:** do I honestly have to tell you anything?

**Dessi:** bows thank you! Good to feel loved

_**To all our readers who didn't review, review and maybe we'll update faster.**_

_**The funny thing is, I was reading through FoF and TTPBNLT, met our cliffie and wanted MORE! So I stole the manuscript from Mandy and have begun typing. Oddly enough it's only been two months . . . you guys can thank Mandy for that and she's been writing each day before bed. Go Mandy!**_

* * *

**TTPBNLT Chapter 15**

* * *

**Nickel's PoV**

The orcs rushed us. If there is one thing I can't stand, it is the smell of MacDonald's. In case nobody knows, I am a complete health freak. But, before the stench could completely overwhelm me, orcs started dropping. Like Flies.

"What is this?" Legolas asked.

I watched an orc vomit, and then turned away, "Food Poisoning, nothing pretty. Mandy! I forgot something. Come with me."

Torn between her wish to remain with Legolas, and her dislike of battle, Mandy fought a swift mental battle, and then followed me, but only after giving Legolas a swift kiss – almost getting shot as she did so.

I led Mandy to the kitchens and collected a frying pan and some string for tying whole chickens. Mandy ducked as I created my retrievable missile and swung it chaotically, knocking down some meat cleavers and a wash bucket. Through a large hole recently infested in the door, a draft of air blew through, putting out the remains of lunch's cook fire. I had an Idea. Minutes later, we ran to Kelsey's place on the wall.

"Kelsey." I hissed, "Here" I handed her a pair of the meat cleavers and the bucket, "stream, cold, stairs, I've got to go."

Kelsey looked at me a moment in utter confusion before understanding dawned on her face, "You know, the stream is probably frozen." A few snow flakes landed on her nose – Peter Jackson couldn't get snow and used rain in the movies. Obviously he hadn't gotten a lecture from Aragorn about Rohan's climate.

I left Mandy with Kelsey and skipped to the gate, swinging my frying pan in dangerous circles above my head. Théoden stood several yard away, so I heard him clearly when he yelled stuff. Well I heard him yell. As to what he was yelling . . . well, the guy couldn't properly annunciate to save his life.

* * *

**Kelsey's PoV**

"Ladders!" Mandy yelped, ducking behind Haldir.

I rolled my eyes and pulled a boomerang with sharp edges out of my bag. "The orcs are really stupid." I remarked, throwing the boomerang. It whirled trough the air and cut the rope on the ladders. "Not only do they eat at MacDonald's, but they also use thin ropes that a sharp _boomerang_ could cut."

"Of course we know orcs are stupid." Mandy replied, ducking from one, "Hey, even I can defeat them!" Mandy puffed up her cheeks and blew one of the orcs over the wall, "See?"

I nodded vaguely, "Hey, where's Nickel?"

"Somewhere." Mandy replied before some orc nearly chopped her arm off, "Eeeahh!!! ASAULT!!! HELP!!!!"

Haldir shot the orc as it desperately clung to the wall.

"Thank you." Mandy gasped.

"You are welcome."

I looked at Mandy, "Mandy, are you . . . busy?"

"Besides avoiding getting killed – no."

"Then help me out here."

"Is this something else you and Nickel have been keeping from me?"

"No." I grabbed the bucket and meat cleavers, "Fill this up with water." I pulled out coats galore, long and short, fur and knit, small and ophilant size from my bag and put every one on until I was sweltering in the snow. I ran to the top of some stairs, Mandy sloshing the freezing water as she followed. "Dump it!" I yelled. The stairs became a smooth surface of ice. I tied the meat cleavers to my shoes and stood on the ice and rode down on my makeshift skates, killing orcs as I went - coats effectively stopping most weaponry.

Mandy fled.

* * *

**Mandy's PoV**

"Eeeahh!!!" I ran across the wall, knocking over several orcs. Nickel had retreated from the gate and was now near Legolas. "Eeeahh!!"

"Mandy! Stop moving!" Nickel shouted at me, letting on arrow fly at an orc.

"But Kelsey-"

"I don't care what she's doing!" Nicole grabbed me and made me sit against the wall. "Now stay"

"But-"

"Stay."

I scowled, and then my eyes grew wide. "Hey Nicole, the wall hasn't blown up yet, has it?"

She hesitated, "No . . . "

"Legolas, Shoot him!' Aragorn yelled.

Nicole and I shared a look. "Run!" We shouted. Nicole pushed me away and grabbed Legolas (who was fruitlessly shooting at the orc) by his tunic and ran away from the wall.

It blew up.

"Eeep!" I squeaked.

"Oh shut up." Nicole ordered. She seemed rather mad at herself for saving Legolas.

"You saved me" he pointed out.

"Don't make me regret it." She muttered, slightly red.

To save Nicole's face, I grabbed a shield, "Legolas!"

He turned.

I flung the shield his direction, "here, now slide down and help Gimli. He's down there."

"Why should I help Gimli?" Legolas asked, not understanding the concept of changing the subject.

I smiled sweetly.

"Oh, of course, my lady."

I smirked, this was just too easy.

"Mandy!" Kelsey came running towards me, meat cleavers, bloody and in each hand, "I heard to wall blow up, where's Haldir!"

I pointed to my left.

"Thanks" She sprinted away.

I frowned, "Hey, Nicole."

"What?"

"Guess what?" I ran behind her, "You're my new body guard!"

* * *

**Kelsey's PoV**

"Nobody messes with my elf!" I shouted, cutting up a few orcs along the way as I sprinted over to Haldir.

"Lady Kelsey, "He called, "is that really necessary?"

"Haldir, I know things about what happen to you by Peter Jackson's script that would make your hair curl!" I shouted, stabbing an orc.

Haldir paused for a moment, frowning, "Who is Peter Jackson?" He asked as an orc raised his crowbar thing over his head.

"Haldir!" I yelped, pulling something from my bag and throwing it at the orc. It turned out to be an incredibly sharp nail file. "Pay attention!"

He just looked at me, somewhat dumbfounded.

"Haldir!"

"Oh . .. sorry." Haldir hastily killed another orc.

"Thank you." I said sarcastically, pulling an identical sword from my bag.

"Eeeahh!!! Oh my GOSH!"

I blinked and turned towards Haldir. "Er . . . I think that's Mandy."

* * *

**Nicole's PoV**

"Eeeahh!!! Oh my GOSH!"

I turned, frowning. "Mandy! Get back here!"

"Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh." Mandy was rocking back and forth as she collapsed to her knees, holding her stomach.

"Mandy?" I asked, annoyed.

She didn't answer.

"Mandy!"

"What's wrong?" Kelsey ran up, Haldir on her heels.

"Mandy's . . . I don't know!"

Mandy moaned

"Mandy, are you dying?" Kelsey prodded Mandy's arm, dropping her bag.

She looked up at us, pale, "Nicole." Her voice was hoarse, "Why didn't you tell me?"She grabbed Kelsey's bag, pressing it to her heart.

"Tell you what?" I asked, bewildered and starting to seriously worry.

"Why didn't . . . didn't you tell me . . ."

"Mandy," I hissed, "What didn't I tell you?"

Mandy looked up, pupils unnaturally large, "Why didn't you tell me there would be dead people?"

The sound of the battle became the only sound around us. Haldir killed an orc.

"What?"

"THERE ARE DEAD PEOPLE!" Mandy shrieked, pointing at some elf's corpse. "OH MY GOSH THERE ARE DEAD PEOPLE!"

"Mandy, I said slowly, "you do realize that we're in the middle of a battle, right?"

"Yes" Mandy whimpered.

"What happens when you're in a battle?" Kelsey asked.

"People get killed?" Mandy asked, desperately hoping to get this right.

"Yes," I took a deep breath, "and what happens when people are killed?"

"They die." Mandy answered slowly.

"And therefore," Kelsey offered

Mandy frowned, and then brightened, "OH! Wait . . ." Mandy looked around and screamed, "DEAD PEOPLE!"

I slapped my forehead s she leapt up and ran around screaming until she ran into Haldir. She was about to scream even more, but Théoden cut her off.

"ALL BA!"

"What did he say?' Kelsey asked.

"FA ACK!"

"He said 'fall back'." Haldir pulled us toward the keep, slaying what orcs were in the way.

"Oh . . . someone grab Mandy, and let's get out of here!" I yelled, "She's still running around!"

"DEAD PEOPLE!"

* * *

**_Like I said, sorry about our issues and updateing, please reveiw. _**

**_Be prepared for another shockingly amazing, incredibly unsusual and all together blonde infested chapter in a few weeks. _**


	16. Contradictions

And our Reveiwers:

**Yami Carol:** I think it was kelsey's idea, though it might have been Nickels . . . she hate Mcdonalds. (so does spellcheck)

**Cryptic Sarcasm:** yes, we aren't dead, just rather lazy. It's the typing that gets us. I'm not supposed to read/ write fanffiction (my mother thinks it's a waste of time gasp but tying is okay because it improves my typing skills!

**Theo:** and of course we must oblige you.

**iceprincess141414:** sorry to have kept you

**gina:** I try, but I'm so darn lazy!

**Queen Islanzadi:** as a matter of fact they did.

* * *

TTPBNLT Chapter 16 

_**The chapter of contested occurrences. **_

* * *

**Mandy's PoV**

"Dun dun dun dad a dad a dad a dun." I hummed, picking my way along the wreckage of the wall. "Wow." I whispered.

Dude, there were, like, LOADS of orcs! Hundreds left! This is when I got a brilliant idea. I found an extra shield from some dead orc and crept up to one who looked like he was sleeping. I lifted the shield and dropped it on the orc's head, giving him a pretty nasty head ache.

"Garrumph" he moaned, falling into unconsciousness.

I laughed evilly and dragged him through the wreckage to a little cave I had seen a ways back . . .

* * *

**Kelsey's PoV**

"Oh my gosh!" Nicole shrieked, leaning out of the keep.

"What?" I asked, running to her side by the window.

"Mandy!"

"What about her?" I looked around, "Did any one see her since we came in?"

"SHE"S RUN OFF WITH AN ORC!" Nicole shrieked.

As Mandy was the only one who could possible run off with an orc (since we were still here and all the other women and children were locked up) heads turned.

"WHAT!!" Legolas and I shouted in unison.

"She's not supposed to sink that low!" I yelled, "She's already got a hot Elvin prince!"

"What did you say?" Legolas asked. Several elves snickered. Haldir frowned.

"'General Opinion', Legolas!" Nicole told him loudly. Too loudly.

"But what are we going to do?" I asked, "We can't just let Mandy run off with an orc! That's just plain revolting . . . it's like internet stalkers!"

"Actually," Nickel broke in, "It's not that big a deal, except to Sauruman maybe, since she's experimenting to see if she can send the EPA after him or some other government department."

"WHAT!!" Legolas and I shouted in unison.

"Well, you'd figure if she were running off to be_ with_ an orc, it'd be hauling her off the field, but she was the one doing the carrying – it can only be assumed she is doing scientific experiments."

"What do you mean by _with_?" Legolas asked distastefully.

"Well . . ." Nickel thought a bit, "if she was _with_ the orc, it'd be like how she's _with_ you. But the point is, she's NOT!" Nickel hurriedly assured him.

"Is there a reason you're being nice to him?" I asked, then, ignoring Nickel's awkward gazing at the battle, "Then what is Mandy doing."

"Hygienic condemnation of the species experimentation."

"WHAT!!" Legolas and I shouted yet again in unison.

"Gosh, that's the third time you've done that. You could be twins."

* * *

**Mandy's PoV**

"Mwahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I laughed evilly, gloved hands snapping together the rods for the X-RAY machine from Kelsey's bag, "Mwahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

* * *

**Nicole's PoV**

"Okay, say she _is_ doing only experiments," Kelsey commented, "How is she doing them? She's no good at science."

"Good question." I said thoughtfully, "She could have hired one."

"A scientist?" Kelsey asked skeptically, "In Middle Earth"

"Sure, why not?"

"True"

We stared like dead fish at the battle below us. Then I got an idea. The thought of dead fish put me in mind of live fish. Live fish put me in mind of fish tanks. Fish tanks had me thinking of Romeo and Juliet because in the Leonardo Di Caprio version, he sees Juliet in a fish tank. Romeo and Juliet has me thinking of many things, but – considering our circumstances – put in the mind set of death. This led me to dead fish. Okay, maybe I didn't have an idea. But I did have a battle song.

"So long and thanks for all the fish, so sad that it should come to this! We tried to warn you but you just -" needless to say, the orcs fled. This left the door wide and clear for all the _real_ soldiers to charge.

"Now for wrath!" Théoden shouted.

"Now for ruin and a red dawn!" Kelsey quoted faithfully.

"Red sky in morning, sailors take warning!" I sang, "The Farmer's Almanac says red dawns mean rain and other bad weather."

Kelsey stared at me, "Since when do you read the Farmer's Almanac?"

"I don't, my mom does. Come on, you've seen those geraniums she has out front next-" I killed an oncoming orc, "to the roses. You know, the ones the size of tires?"

"Oh."

"I DID IT!!!!"

I looked a t Kelsey, "Did you say something?"

She shook her head.

"I HAVE PROVEN IT!!!"

"Oh, it's Mandy."

The sun came up. Really fast. And Gandalf rode down the hill with either Erkenbrand or Eomer, I wasn't sure if this was book verse or script cannon since the whole story was screwed. And of course we had trouble seeing them because the hill was to the east. With the sun. Even though they came from the west . . . I think.

"Pretty." Mandy said beside us.

I jumped about three feet, "ACK!"

"Care to enlighten us as to your . . . experiments?" Kelsey asked coldly.

"Uh . . . sure . . .later though." Mandy carelessly walked off – almost as if all the dead people weren't there, "Oh, there you go." She tossed Kelsey her bag and continued walking.

"Weird." Kelsey intoned, "So . . . we'd best clean up." She stalked out of the keep, pulled a clipboard from her bag and began noting the dead.

* * *

**Mandy's PoV**

I waited for Kelsey to pass me up, and then followed her along the battle field, ignoring her calls for help. After what I had learned about orcs, I wasn't touching one without serious soap and Lysol.

A soldier began to drag an orc toward the stack.

Kelsey screamed, "Idiot! Idiot! I need the orc's number! Idiot!" She whacked the soldier with her clipboard until the orc's dog tags fell out. She scooped them up, "Dead orc number forty-two, number 3387, EWE."

The soldier fled.

We finished noting the dead orcs and headed back inside to the keep. Only to find Legolas and Nicole on the roof . . . Kelsey and I rushed up the stairs, worried for everyone's health, only to stop short at the top as Gandalf stood in our way.

"Twit and Legolas need to be alone." He told us quite pointedly. "They have differences to sort out, which will take our entire ride to Isengard to fix. Therefore, I have assigned them to be travelers together."

"But . . . but . . ." I blubbered after Gandalf, "What if she kills him!"

He gave me a _look_, "You can watch from here, but don't be bothersome, chi- no, Twit is right, you are not a child." And he swept down the stairs.

Kelsey and I crept up to listen.

"What do you want, Nicole?" Legolas asked, rather too politely.

"I just wanted to get some things straight." She seemed rather agitated, "I don't want to be friends, okay?"

"Then why-"

"I SAVED YOUR BUTT BECAUSE YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO DIE!" She glared at him, "I don't want to be your 'camping buddy' anymore than you want to be mine, got it?"

"Of course, Nicole, but answer me one thing."

"What?"

His voice was so soft, I had to hold my breath to hear it, "Do I have to call you Lady?"

Kelsey and I giggled softly as Nicole hurled herself down the stairs.

She stopped when she saw us, turning her glare – while not as murderous as Kelsey's Galadriel eyes, still worth few broken bones – on us.

"Shut up" And she ran the rest of the way down the stairs.PMS.

I left Kelsey to go see how Legolas was doing. He was smiling while still managing to look incredibly angry.

"Gandalf has decided that Nicole is to ride next to me in hopes of a mutual alliance." His whispered.

I gave him a kiss on the shoulder – the only part of him I could reach (all that armor seriously makes you shorter), "It is okay, Leggy, she's just frustrated that she's not as socially proficient as the rest of us. And she seems to feel she has to hate any guy I like. . ."

* * *

I kicked my horse to a trot grumbling. Kelsey had taken it into her head that if Nicole got a camping buddy, then so did she – me as it happens. 

"Oh! And we can braid out hair, and gossip and-"

"Kelsey." I said warningly.

"And tell ghost stories, and-"

"KELSEY!"

"What?"

"Can we just ride?"

"Okay." Kelsey said sadly, "But-"

"No"

Gandalf and the others rode up behind us, "I told you, Twit, you have to come."

"Yeah yeah, Mithrandir." Nicole scowled, leaning over and grabbing the reins from where they dangled by Ernie's horse, "Ernie, put the sword down and pay attention to your horse!"

I snickered, then giggled. Considerably more cheerful, I kicked my horse to a canter, "To Isengard!"

"Mandy!" Nicole and Kelsey shouted.

I turned, "What?"

"Isengard's the other way!"

* * *

**_R&R_**

**_Yeah! I got a chapter up on time! Please send in suggestion if you want, and check out our SALE on our bio. Anyone who applies will receive a tour of Middle Earth by the MBDTA. details will be provided in the coming year. Unfortunatly, you need an account to send a message, so . . . if you don't have and accout, then send an extra reveiw or something explaining your situation._**

**I love this story! I'm all ready writing the sequel and am currently filling some difficult plot holes. Can't wait to hear what you all think of it. BTW, brush up on your Simarilian--it'll help. Love you all! R&R!--Mandy**


	17. Nicole makes friends not

To our reveiwers:

**Iforgotmyname:** as I said . . someday . . you shall know!

**gina:** you're so mean!

**YamiCarol:** Someday . . you shall know!

**Queen Islanzadi:** voila!

**Remember to Feel Real:** oooh, I hope so! then I be famouse!

**Meagan:** I always annoy him.

* * *

_**only one more chpter after this, aren't you sad! I better get typing again . . . an you had best keep reveiwing! Soon, we shall come to part three of our . . . trilogy? there's more than three so . . . anyway. **_

* * *

**Nicole Makes Friends . . . Not**

**Chapter 17**

_In which there is singing, Nickel seeks a friend, and Ernie becomes important – sort of _

* * *

**Nickel's PoV**

I was desperate – this I will admit – Legolas was not the best camping buddy. Sure, he could cook and create a camp and so on and so forth, but he couldn't understand the concept of random conversation. Since we were forced to ride side by side, I would talk – he never replied.

"Tell me a story, Leggy!"

"No."

"You're just like Michael. You're a grump. Tell me a story."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No,"

"No."

"Yes. Arg! Stop doing that!" Legolas reared his horse sending Gimli (who had been sleeping) flying.

"We will camp here!" Théoden announced.

Legolas, grumbling, stopped yelling and rode to a spot, "We camp here. I am going to make a complaint."

"You have fun with that!" I told him, but followed him all the same. We approach Théoden, and any one who has seen Wicked, think of 'What is this feeling'

LEGOLAS:  
(spoken) Your Royal Highness, king of the Mark:

NICOLE:  
(spoken) hey, King dude:

BOTH:  
There's been some confusion  
Over travel here at camp:

NICOLE:  
But of course, I won't kill Leggy:

LEGOLAS:  
But of course, I'll rise above it:

BOTH:  
For I know that's how you'd want me to respond  
(Spoken:) Yes  
There's been some confusion  
For you see, my campmate is:

LEGOLAS:  
Unusually and exceedingly peculiar  
And altogether quite impossible to describe:

NICOLE:  
An elf.

KELSEY:

(spoken) So are you, so shut up!

LEGOLAS:  
What is this feeling,  
So sudden and new?

NICOLE:  
I felt the moment  
I laid eyes on you;

LEGOLAS:  
My pulse is rushing;

NICOLE:  
My head is reeling;

LEGOLAS:  
My face is flushing;

BOTH:  
What is this feeling?  
Fervid as a flame,  
Does it have a name?  
Yes! Loathing  
Unadulterated loathing

LEGOLAS:  
For your face;

NICOLE:  
Your voice;

LEGOLAS:  
Your clothing;

BOTH:  
Let's just say - I loathe it all  
Every little trait, however small  
Makes my very flesh begin to crawl  
With simple utter loathing  
There's a strange exhilaration  
In such total detestation  
It's so pure and strong!  
Though I do admit it came on fast  
Still I do believe that it can last  
And I will be loathing  
Loathing you  
My whole life long!

SOLDIERS:  
Dear Legolas, you are just too good  
How do you stand it? I don't think I could!  
She's a terror! She's a Tartar!  
We don't mean to show a bias,  
But Legolas, you're a martyr!

LEGOLAS:  
Well; these things are sent to try us!

SOLDIERS:  
Poor Legolas, forced to work with  
With someone who sings like orc spit  
We all know she can't sing

To save her life!

KELSEY:

Got that right!

SOLDIERS  
We share your;

BOTH:  
What is this feeling  
So sudden and new?  
I felt the moment I laid eyes on you  
My pulse is rushing  
My head is reeling  
Oh, what is this feeling?  
Does it have a name?  
Yes  
Ahhh

SOLDIERS (BACKGROUND):  
Loathing  
Unadulterated loathing  
For her face, her voice, her clothing  
let's just say - we loathe it all  
every little trait however small  
makes our very flesh being to crawl  
AHHH!

ALL:  
Loathing!

SOLDIERS:  
loathing

BOTH:  
There's a strange exhilaration

SOLDIERS:  
loathing

BOTH:  
In such total detestation

SOLDIERS:  
loathing

BOTH:  
It's so pure, so strong

SOLDIERS:  
So strong!

BOTH:  
Though I do admit it came on fast  
Still I do believe that it can last  
And I will be...

SOLDIERS (BACKGROUND):  
loathing...

BOTH:  
loathing  
For forever...

SOLDIERS (BACKGROUND):  
loathing...

BOTH:  
loathing,  
Truly deeply loathing you

SOLDIERS:  
loathing you  
My whole Life long!

SOLDIERS:  
Loathing  
Unadulterated loathing

KELSEY:

Shut up!

Life was so unfair, even when odd things like a musical number broke out in camp. I whacked Legolas with my purse.

"Ouch!" He yelped, "What have you got in that thing!"

"At the moment," I replied, "Bricks."

He grimaced, and I walked away, over to the Isen, which had begun to flow again. I sat in the stream letting to cold water run over me. Come morning I was numb enough to mount up and act like an ice cube. Despite Théoden's glares, I rode ahead of everyone else. That is, ahead of everyone except the evil Rohan riders – namely Mandy and Kelsey – both of whom I was NOT happy with. Hence, when they rode up – with my all time least favorite elf – I wasn't happy.

"Nicole, stop holding grudges!" Mandy yelled, "Legolas doesn't hate you!"

"Yeah, he just feels the same as we do about your singing." Kelsey added.

"Your Balloon hates you." I told her angrily.

Kelsey sobbed.

"Nickel!" Mandy admonished, hugging Kelsey as best she could from a horse.

I rode on. Nothing would stop me; except the big stone wall in front of me, "Whoa!" I turned. I rode.

"Lady Nicole." There was Legolas in front of me now. What drugs had Mandy put him on? "Lady Nicole think of what this means to Lady Amanda."

I thought, "I won't be with her, so I can't kill her." I kept riding. There was the gate.

"Hallo there!" Pippin waved.

"Hi, Pip!" I dismounted and tied my horse to a random stick that looked relatively secure.

"What?" Legolas looked up, "There you two are!"

"A fine chase you led us on!" Gimli called out – he was still on Arod.

"You missed some good chicken!" Kelsey called.

I began to ascend, "You have food, right? I'm starving."

"Yep, and some pipe weed if you smoke." Merry announced.

I looked around, "Best keep _that_ away from Mandy."

"What, weed?" Kelsey ran up the steps, "Nicole, don't you do drugs."

"We aren't finished with you, Nickel!" Mandy yelled.

"Sure. Sure." I helped myself to an apple, "Whatever."

* * *

**Kelsey's PoV**

Two pots and a fire later, and I was making applesauce as Mandy tried to talk Nickel out of her problems.

"Nickel, you aren't my friend anymore!"

"Fine."

"How would a t-rex flick someone off?" Ernie asked, coming up the stairs as the rest of Théoden's posse passed by, "They only have two fingers. . ."

Nicole slapped him, "Just stop it!" She looked around, then spotted Gimli, "Gimli, you're my new best friend! Mandy's mean, Kelsey's boring-"

"Hey!" I protested.

"-Legolas is evil and Ernie's perverted."

"I don't particularly like you."

"Oh Fie!" She looked around some more, "I'm going to find an ent." She stalked off.

"What's the bet she won't like them 'cuz they talk slow?" Pippin asked.

* * *

_**Five minutes later**_

Nicole returned, fuming.

"Pay up!" Pippin yelled, collecting potatoes from Ernie, the one person who'd taken the bet.

"Merry and Pippin smoke, ents are slow, Ernie's perverted, Kelsey's boring, Mandy's mean, Legolas is evil, Gimli doesn't like me, Gandalf's old, Théoden's busy, the soldiers like horses, Saruman is a hermit, and Wormtongue is stupid – I have no friends!" Nicole yelled.

"Sorry about that." Merry patted her on the back.

Nicole sulked. Then she stood up from her rock, walked over to Mandy (who was sitting on Legolas) (A/N: Rocks are HARD!) and gave her a hug – meanwhile knocking Legolas with her elbow, "I'm sorry, Mandy, be my bestest friend!"

"Sure!"

Nicole wriggled away, grabbing an apple, "Now, the all important question, do smashed apple's float?"

"We know that already." I pointed out.

"So?"

**

* * *

**

**Mandy's PoV**

While Nickel busied herself destroying apples, I busied myself with making a pair of earplugs. I for one didn't want to fall to Saruman's voice. Gandalf rode up and spoke. I didn't know precisely what he said – I'd been testing my earplugs – but I think it was something along the lines of, "Talk to Saruman." Whatever.

Nicole walked up to me. Ooo . . . this was a cool feature. Her mouth was moving, but no sound came out. I nodded, acting like I knew what she was saying. She frowned at me, then her mouth was moving again – I think she was shouting. I nodded more enthusiastically. Nicole looked angry, then she hit the back of my head. Hard.

"Hey! What was that for?" I yelped, pulling out my earplugs.

Nicole didn't answer and stalked away. Boy, she looked mad.

* * *

**Nicole's PoV**

"I can't believe Mandy!" I fumed, stomping over to Kelsey.

"What happened now?" Kelsey asked as I mounted my horse.

"I asked Mandy if she really wanted to spend the rest of her life with Legolas and she said yes!"

Kelsey frowned, "Did she actually say 'yes'?"

"Well . . . she nodded. But when I asked her a second time, she nodded like this." I shook my head up and down really, really fast.

"Okay, Okay –don't break your neck!" Kelsey yelled.

I stopped.

"We need to ask her again. She may have been confused."

"Yeah . . . maybe she thought I asked her to spend her life with Legolas." I commented sarcastically.

"Twit!" Gandalf came up behind Kelsey," get your staff and come with me. I am going to talk with Saruman – perhaps he will repent, though I doubt it."

"Yeah . . . well, he's a loser. Bye Kelsey!" I followed Gandalf like the good child I wasn't.

**

* * *

**

**Saruman's PoV**

I looked out my window. What else was I to do when my home had been attacked by trees. I had respected and been kind to these trees – and see how they rewarded me! I was stuck in there with that idiot Wormtongue. But perhaps, when the great master comes I may gain his sympathy. Though from what I have seen, he thinks only of himself, though he listens to those elf women. One comes to my door now with Gandalf. Perhaps, over her I may hold sway – she is no wizard – and hold her mind to gain his. . .

**

* * *

**

**Kelsey's PoV**

I hadn't gotten to tell Nicole that Mandy had been wearing earplugs. Gandalf had taken her off to deal with Mr. evil. I found Mandy easily enough by Saruman's door – with Legolas. He was whispering in her ear so I could assume the ear plugs had exited.

"Mandy!" I called

"Saruman!" Gandalf yelled, "Come out of your hole and hear us!"

Saruman spoke from above,"You have fought many wars and slain many men, Théoden King, (shows himself on the top of the tower) and made peace afterwards. Can we not take counsel together as we once did, my old friend? Can we not have peace, you and I?"

Théoden replied, "We shall have peace. We shall have peace when you answer for the burning of the Westfold and the children that lie dead there! We shall have peace when the lives of the soldiers whose bodies were hewn even as they lay dead against the gates of the Hornburg, are avenged! When you hang from a gibbet for the sport of your own crows, we shall have peace."  
Saruman laughed "Gibbets and crows? Dotard! What do you want, Gandalf Greyhame? Let me guess. The key of Orthanc. Or perhaps the Keys of Barad-dur itself along with the crowns of the seven kings and the rods of the Five Wizards! What is the house of Rohan but a thatched barn where the brigands drink and their brats roll on the floor with the dogs! Victory at Helm's Deep does not belong to you, Théoden, Horsemaster. You are but the lesser son of greater sires."

"Hey, he's cool!" I yelled, "Théoden has a cool house!"

"It's shiny!" Mandy exclaimed," And the bedrooms are pretty!"

"Mandy, we didn't sleep at Edoras." Ernie pointed out from is seat on the stairs.

"Yeah, but Eowyn and I painted or nails!"

"And you." Saruman pointed his staff at Ernie, "You consent to stay amongst such low beings as them when you and Gandalf and I are great ones. We could rule the world with order and greatness!"

There was a sort of honey in his voice that – had I not known Ernie as well as I did – I would have felt as the soldiers did – like a weak unworthy worm.

Nickel broke the spell, 'How come I can't point my staff at people?"

Saruman scowled, 'Be silent child. You are unworthy of such an office as you have taken!"

"She is more worthy than you, Saruman, you're staff is broken!" Gandalf announced.

"Dear, girl," Saruman's voice filled once more with honey, "I have much left and – as I see you are worthy of your staff – I have much to offer you. Learn not from Gandalf who will teach you only to be a slave. Together we could be great, think of the possibilities."

Nicole tried to think – I could see it – but her face slid back into oblivion, "I cannot imagine."

Gandalf shook her. Mandy pushed through and slapped her. But to no avail. Ernie for once was smart. He scooped up a rock and threw it at Saruman.

"You lout!" Saruman yelled breaking his own spell. Then he realized what he had done, 'Master, chide me not, for I sought only your betterment."

Théoden looked from Ernie to Saruman.

Master – that was odd. The only one not confused seemed to be Nickel. And then Wormtongue threw a rock at us all. Master . . . how odd.

* * *

_**Well . . can you**_ **_see the plot? can't you just see it! - Nickel!_**

**Eep! The polt is thickening! Can't you see our wonderfully thought out plot yet?!?!?! Ok...you'll see at least in the next chapter, ROTK, or in the sequel. You won't understand it yet...all the more reason to keep reading and reviewing our wonderful work! R&R my loverly peeps!--Mandi**


	18. The Begining of the End

**Our wonderfully thought out plot is only seconds away, dear readers! At least half of it is...the rest you shall read in good time. Enjoy the end of TTPBNLT!!**

**YamiCarol:** correct, but which dark lord? that is the question. belive me, everyday, the plot grows more complex.

**Queen Islanzadi:** yes, at least two full fics and a oneshot semi sequel are planned, but who knows? you'll just have to keep reading. THE PLOT at least ends in the fourth book. then there are a few spin offs I've conjured within my head.

**Theo:** close . . he sort of does

**Gina:** you shall return and erestor is yours!

**iceprincess141414:** '"has he ever had any inclination for . . ruling the world?" "Well who doesn't"' (some chapter in this story) I think that quote sums it up, don't you?

**meagan:**what would be hilarious?

* * *

**Chapter 18**

**Begining of the End**

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**Ernie's PoV**

I mounted up on my horse. Now why would that freak call me master? Nicole seemed to think I was a reincarnation of some Morgoth guy, but that was ridiculous.

Kelsey rode up, strait and perfect as usual, "Why did Saruman call you Master? You are Ernie, right? You'd better not be Sauron in disguise because I'll injure you if you are." She glared so well I might have fallen off my horse if the reins hadn't roped themselves around my wrist.

"No! No! I'm Ernie!" I protested, positive that Sauron himself would bow before that look, "Nicole thinks I'm a reincarnation of some Morgoth guy and the evilest thing in all creation." I didn't say that in my opinion Kelsey was the evilest thing in all creation.

"WHAT!" Kelsey screamed, "Oh no. Oh no. Not you. No way." The look on her face was enough to send me off my horse – unfortunately the reins had untangled.

Gandalf rode up, "Come with me, Ernie."

I followed, leaving a shocked Kelsey behind me.

"There is no use in hiding it anymore." Gandalf spoke gravely, "It has been evident since first you joined our company that something was different about you from the others from your home." He paused, "It seems to me that you attract great evils to yourself. Tell me, have you any memories of . . being called Morgoth?"

"Well, Nicole thinks I'm Morgoth. She did this whole speech."

"Of course . . . Twit would know . . . she has learned much since leaving Lorien."

"What? Does this have something to do with the stick?"

Gandalf dismissed my question," It matters not; what matters is that you are powerful and are with us. Are you willing to support us in overthrowing Sauron?"

"If I can go home and play video games." I'd confused Gandalf; yippee for me!

"I will send you home," He promised, "If I am able and Sauron has been overthrown."

I nodded and stuck out my hand, "Deal."

Gandalf turned his big, white horse and rode back toward the tower thing, 'I must speak with twit. Good day."

I would be going home soon. Back to the campout. Yes.

**

* * *

**

**Nickel's PoV**

My head felt fuzzy – like I was waking up from a long dream. It was an odd sort of dream. Somebody told me I was powerful. What a thought, the voices of this darkness should go away. I have little power here in the void. But this wasn't the void.

Some old Guy rode up on a pretty white horse . . how long had it been since I had last seen horses? He had a big white staff in one hand. Funny, I had a staff too . . .

"Twit!" he yelled, "come here!" he couldn't mean me, so I just sat down on the step I had been standing on. The old guy sighed and rode away. Moments later a tree walked by. What a strange dream. I looked around at the bleak, grayish place where I was. It was flooded up to the black steps and fog covered much of the distant landscape. A fleeting sense of déjà vu crossed my mind, but it soon disappeared on favor of utter confusion.

Some blonde guy walked up. He had on weird clothes and had really long hair – wait . . . it was a girl.

"Nickel?" the voice was familiar – but I couldn't place it, "Nickel, it's me, Mandy – your friend."

Mandy . . . Mandy . . . sounded a bit familiar.

"We're in Middle earth. As in Lord of the Rings."

"Middle earth . . of course," I thought out loud, "where else would we be but the uttermost dark where we watched our brother and kept him contained?" Now I remembered. We had come back to Arda from the dark void - escaping both Melkor's nets and our own - and, "Melkor!" I yelled, "Where is our cursed brother?" I lept to my feet and ran into the fog and through the nasty water, 'Melkor, oh, Melkor, where are you?" the old guy on the horse rode in front of me.

"What is wrong?"

"Melkor! I do not know where he is! We were to watch him, my sisters and I. Where is he? He isn't safe!" I panicked, "Where?"

A tall, dark-haired man and a light haired elf sprinted over, "Gandalf," spoke the man, "What is wrong with her?"

"She speaks as if the old enemy hath returned." added the elf.

"Where is he?" I asked, "Oh do not tell me he is lost! I must find him!"

"Be calm," spoke the man, "Tell us, what does your charge look like?"

I thought a bit, "He has many forms, all of darkness, but he cannot hide for the trees themselves will not touch him in memory of his evil and the beasts-"

"Ernie." The blonde girl announced, wrapping her arms around the elf, "She means Ernie. You saw him in Fangorn."

"The forest?" I cried out, "Pray, no, keep him from there!"

"Calm down." The man said again, "we will find him for you."

"But he is strong, stronger than-"

"We will bring him to you, Lady Nicole." He turned to the others, "Lady Amanda, stay with her. Legolas, find the Lady Kelsey. Gandalf and I will find Ernie."

The blonde girl –Mandy – sat down on a log nearby as the other's split up.

The elf returned, "Lady Kelsey is coming." He told Mandy and sat next to her.

A lady dressed in a lovely blue dress with a gold silk bodice sewn with black pearls glided across the water, skirts lifted just enough to reveal shiny boots. "What's wrong with her?" the Lady Kelsey asked, a worried expression across her brow. She glanced over to Mandy and frowned, "MANDY! STOP KISSING LEGOLAS!" I had no idea a lady of such breeding could yell so loudly.

The Lady Mandy sat on the elf's legs, her face seemed like it was being eaten.

"What is wrong with her?" I asked; a sucking noise came from the pair.

"MANDY!"

"She's insane." Was the short reply.

The lady turned to me, "Nicole, say something."

"Melkor's missing." I told her.

She frowned, "Really?"

"Yes and-" I paused. She looked familiar. Something about the jaw . . . "Kelsey?"

"Oh!" Kelsey clapped her hands, "She remembers me!"

"Sister, oh, Kelsey, he is gone!" I cried out, "Our brother is gone!"

"She's gone insane." Mandy announced. She stood and walked over, "Nicole, who am I?"

"You said your name was Mandy." I told her.

"Yes, but who do _you_ think I am?"

I looked her over, 'his wife?" I pointed to the elf.

Mandy looked a the elf thoughtfully, "well . . . no, not really."

"Then why-"

"We have him!" the dark haired man stepped through the fog.

A tall dark curled young man followed him. The power and strength of his soul stretch out weary fingers. Melkor.

"Melkor!" I called out, moving forward to bind him once more. Then my mind went blank.

**

* * *

**

**Mandy's PoV**

"Melkor!' Nicole rushed forward, then paused, "Ernie? What happened?"

"Nickel?' I asked, "What about Melkor?"

"What about him?" She asked, "He's an old evil banished to the utter dark."

I glanced at Kelsey. Nicole didn't remember anything.

"Uh . . .okay . . ." I shrugged.

"What?" Nicole yelped, looking around at the confused faces.

"What did I do? Stop staring at me!"

"I should have guessed." Gandalf murmured.

"Excuse me?" I asked, frowning at Gandalf, "What's wrong with Nicole?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with – HEY!" Nicole shouted.

Gandalf sighed, "Mount up. I'll explain on the way." Gandalf ordered.

I turned to mount my horse, but couldn't find it. Gimli was with Ernie so . . . I glanced at Legolas, who gestured shrugging. I mounted Legolas's horse. No one should mind. I swung my leg over the horse and –

"OW!"

"Legolas!" I squeaked as he fell off the horse.

Nicole rode over, "Good job, Mandy!" She praised, "You've done more damage than I ever could!"

I glared at her, sliding to the ground, "Legolas, are you okay?"

He pushed himself off the ground, holding his eye.

"I think you gave him a black eye." Kelsey commented, pulling out her bag and reaching in. A moment later, she threw something to me, "This should help with the swelling."

I caught it and immediately dropped it, "Gross, Kelsey!"

"What? Raw meat helps! Oh, fine, have some ice."

**

* * *

**

**Kelsey's PoV**

"Now that we're finally on our way," Nicole commented, glancing at Mandy who flushed, "Can you please tell me what's going on?" She looked pointedly at Gandalf.

I nodded empathetically, keeping a tight hold on Ernie's reins since he seemed to be the source of the problem. And Gimli wasn't any help.

Gandalf stroked his beard, "I guess I can put it simply." He said thoughtfully, "Twit, you are one of the three, shall I say 'guardians' of Melkor on his prison of the void" This remark was met by silence.

"What?" Mandy asked after a minute or two, obviously not comprehending a thing.

Legolas carefully explained it to her.

"Does that mean Nickel's evil?" Mandy asked, wide eyed and clutching Legolas's arm.

Only Nicole remained silent until Gandalf shushed everyone, "Who would the other two be?" She asked.

Mandy and I shared a look . . . Nah.

"But it is you," Gandalf remarked about our glance. "Have you ever wondered why the three of you became such good friends, even sisterly towards each other? Legends tell that Melkor could someday return. I did not think it would be so soon with Sauron rising to power again."

"We should be rid of him!" Legolas shouted, drawing one of his knives, "We shall not let him grow strong!"

"Wait!" Nickel shouted back, reaching over to grab Legolas's arm, 'He's on our side. Think, moron, Morgoth was Sauron's master!'

"Legolas," Gandalf ordered, 'Sheath your knife. Twit is right. Ernie has not shown any inclination for harming our quest."

'You mean the ring?" Ernie asked.

"How does he-" Aragorn stared – very unkingly, that.

I sighed, "Where we come from, your quest is well known. We are not blind to Middle Earth's affairs." I glanced around. All the others, including Mandy and except for Gandalf were eyeing Nicole and Ernie warily.

"Well," Gandalf sighed, "you two will have to stay with me so I can be sure you won't cause trouble."

Nicole looked extremely innocent as an awkward silence reigned.

"Will you all hurry up!" Ernie bellowed suddenly, making us all jump, "I'm tired of hearing about how bad everything is!"

**

* * *

**

**Nickel's PoV**

We rode until dark. The thunder of horses echoed dully in my mind. A chill ran down my spine. Ernie was evil. I'd known it before, but somehow, it felt more real when Gandalf confirmed it.

Gandalf and Merry spoke quietly ahead of me. We soon came to a little glen. It was late and I was ready for serious sleep. As soon as we stopped, I slid to the ground. So . . . tired . . .

"Nicole"

I jerked awake, "What?"

Ernie knelt next o my pallet, "Gandalf says we have to go. Just us, him and Pippin. Something about-"

"A Palantir, I know." I told him.

"How did-"

I pointed to myself, "book freak."

"Oh."

"Twit, follow now." Gandalf called from his conference with Aragorn, "Shadowfax cannot carry four though he is strong, how will you follow? You and Ernie must come, I would rather you be under my eye than any other."

I thought a bit, "Jest a sec." I grabbed my quilted purse that Mandy and Kelsey still didn't know about and pulled out a large carpet, "Sit ernie." I sat next to him on the carpet, grabbing my staff, 'dwia gwai. Nai brith golla ve gwai." [flow wind. Be it that (carpet) is a wind I called and the carpet flew up, "run harn!" [east south. The carpet flew towards the southeast. I sat back and relaxed now for some sight seeing.

* * *

And so ends the Two, Tall, Pointy, black, Neede-Like Towers 

continue to the next chapter for thank yous and sneak preveiws for the sequel to this fic,

The Return of the Power Hungry Monarch

And the final part of the failed fuchianess!

**Loverly, loverly stuff. I've all ready started the sequel...which needs a better name. Hmm...Nickel, help me out here. Maybe it could be "Dawn of the (whatever name we are, I forgot)." Actually, that's not bad...hmm...**


	19. thank yous and a sneak preveiw

Thanks to all our reviewers for Two tall Pointy Black Needle-Like Towers! Sorry I'm too lazy to write all of your names, you know who you are.

Anyone who starts reading after we have finished, please review this chapter, we like to hear what you think.

And now for the sneak previews of

The Return of the Power Hungry Monarch

And the final part of the failed fuchsianess!

* * *

I turned to see the guards kneeling in my direction. 

"Now this is more like it!"

* * *

"Why have you-" 

"There's no place like home."

" I come to have you fulfill your oath," Aragorn thundered.

"Think of a happy place."

"None but-"

"-Happy Place-"

"-Gondor may-"

"Find a-"

"SHUT UP!" I finally yelled, headache now pounding wildly in my head. Mandy let out a wail and slumped to the ground, beginning to suck her thumb while the guys shot glares at me, "What?"

* * *

"Hide me, Kelsey!" Nickel squeaked, ducking behind us." 

Kelsey turned and stared at her, "What did you do, Nickel?"

"Nothing!" she squealed, "Just hide me!"

The elf was closer.

"Nickel, maybe you should run." I suggested.

She gave me a look that clearly said, ' Are you insane, like that's going to help' and glanced at the elf, shaking her head empathetically at him. She tried to duck through the crowd, but was too late. He was upon us.

"Why didn't someone tell me you were still alive!" he grabbed her shoulder, "Elladan refused to say a thing!" he kissed her hard on the lips.

Kelsey and I gaped, "Nickel?" we asked.

She broke away and glared at him, "I haven't told them yet, Pastrami!"

* * *

Alright, to find the why and where, be sure to read and review 

The Return of the Power Hungry Monarch

And the final part of the failed fuchsianess!

Remember, if you review, we post!

Anyone who guesses Pastrami's Identity will be featured in our sequel!

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